Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: trash

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024
Breaking, Games News

Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Apparently, some 26.7 million of you are still clinging to your ancient Nintendo Entertainment Systems,…

Philadelphia’s Trash Crisis: City Caves, Workers Win (and Your Curb Still Stinks)
Elephant Reads CNN

Philadelphia’s Trash Crisis: City Caves, Workers Win (and Your Curb Still Stinks)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Another day, another city held hostage by the radical Left! Philadelphia’s union thugs, emboldened by Biden’s America-hating policies, decided to…

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, the geriatric thrash metal “legends” 👴 SLAYER, fresh from their crypts, decided to grace us with their presence for…

Judge throws Trump’s border tantrum in the trash where it belongs
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge throws Trump’s border tantrum in the trash where it belongs

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Another activist judge, probably appointed by some deep-state Obama holdover, is trying to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our…

Derrick Green’s folks totally stoked about him screaming for a living
Breaking, Music News

Derrick Green’s folks totally stoked about him screaming for a living

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a recent, totally unscripted and not-at-all-promotional interview with Finland’s *checks notes* Chaoszine (never heard of it, must be legit…

Leaderboards: Cuz Gamers Need More Reasons to Rage Quit
Breaking, Games News

Leaderboards: Cuz Gamers Need More Reasons to Rage Quit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Leaderboards? Oh honey, those relics from the 80s👾? Still clinging to life like a desperate gamer to their Doritos-dusted keyboard.…

Fortnite Blitz Royale: 2025’s Lightning-Fast Fiasco Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Blitz Royale: 2025’s Lightning-Fast Fiasco Nobody Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, gamers, buckle up because Fortnite just dropped Blitz Royale, a game mode so fast, your grandma could probably win…

Vance says Padilla is ‘José’ and defends Trump’s National Guard usage in LA because why not
Elephant Reads CNN

Vance says Padilla is ‘José’ and defends Trump’s National Guard usage in LA because why not

Big ElephantJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Looks like the liberal freakout in California continues! VP Vance, or as the Left will probably start calling him, “Vance…

‘The Adventures of Cliff Booth’ Adds Someone We’ll Probably Forget By Next Week
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Adventures of Cliff Booth’ Adds Someone We’ll Probably Forget By Next Week

FinnJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your hats 👒 because the “surprise” sequel to Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood”…

James Hetfield Spills the Beans: ‘Metallica Movie Saved My Life’ – Because Apparently, We’re All Superheroes Now
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield Spills the Beans: ‘Metallica Movie Saved My Life’ – Because Apparently, We’re All Superheroes Now

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

On Wednesday, June 11, the geriatric squad known as METALLICA hobbled into the premiere of their new cinematic masterpiece, “Metallica…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10 11 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Biden Admin Ditches Trump’s Petty Parting Gift to AG Nominee
  • Pentagon Seeks Innovative Ways to Annoy Iran
  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.