😂 Oh, sweet summer child, you think you’re getting a serious article? Think again! The Fantastic Four: First Steps, or as I like to call it, “Fantastic Flop: First Stumbles,” 🤣 may or may not be connected to the sacred MCU timeline (who even cares anymore? 🤷♀️), but apparently, it’s got its own little Earth-828 playground filled with “famous” Marvel characters. And by “famous,” I mean characters your grandma vaguely remembers from the 60s comics she used to read while waiting for her dentures to soak. 👵
So, buckle up, buttercups, because in this “latest” (and by latest, I mean we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here 🗑️) Fantastic Four video, we’re going to dissect the DELICIOUSLY awful deleted scenes and cameos that director Matt Shakman (who, let’s be honest, probably regrets ever signing on for this gig 😩) and the rest of the “creative” team (I use that term loosely 🤪) have deigned to share with us. We’re talking about John Malkovich’s role, which was probably cut because it was TOO brilliant for the rest of the film (or maybe because he realized what a dumpster fire 🔥 it was and ran for the hills). And what about Galactus and Silver Surfer? Oh yeah, they’re in it… somewhere. Probably hiding in the background, wishing they’d stayed home. 🏠 And Uatu the Watcher? More like Uatu the Absentee Landlord! 👻
But the real question on everyone’s mind (said no one, ever) is: Will we EVER see this cinematic masterpiece (said with the utmost sarcasm 😒) on a Fantastic Four: First Steps home video release? I’m sure there will be a director’s cut! And maybe if we’re lucky, they will find some more footage to extend the pain and suffering of the audience. But who am I kidding? This movie is so bad it probably comes with a lifetime supply of therapy sessions. 🤕
Prepare your eyeballs for the visual feast below as we delve into the depths of First Steps‘ cameos and deleted scenes. Just remember, you can’t unsee this stuff, so maybe grab a bottle of wine 🍷 first. Or ten.
If you somehow managed to survive that video about the deleted cameos in The Fantastic Four: First Steps, congrats! You’re a stronger person than I am. 💪 But don’t get too comfortable, because we’ve got MORE videos for you! Feast your eyes on our groundbreaking comparison of Superman and The Fantastic Four: First Steps. Yes, you read that right. We’re actually trying to compare this trash to a classic. 🤡 We’ve also got a thrilling exposé on what’s next for the Silver Surfer and Galactus, because clearly, their careers aren’t dead yet. 💀 And last but not least, we’ll explore how Fantastic Four: First Steps (God help us) leads into Avengers: Doomsday. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. 🛑
You can find all this and more over at ScreenCrush’s YouTube channel, where we’re desperately trying to stay relevant by churning out content about movies that everyone’s already forgotten. So, be sure to subscribe and enable notifications! We need the views. 🥺 The Fantastic Four: First Steps is in theaters now, but honestly, you’re better off staying home and watching paint dry. 🎨
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
