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Tag: TV

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube
Breaking, Movie News

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck that is…

Warner Bros. Discovery Slams Paramount’s Desperate Offer—Apparently “Lowball” Is Not a Negotiation Strategy
Breaking, Movie News

Warner Bros. Discovery Slams Paramount’s Desperate Offer—Apparently “Lowball” Is Not a Negotiation Strategy

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

The media landscape is a circus, and this week’s main attraction involves a very serious boardroom battle between two entertainment…

Nintendo Dangles Digital Carrots At Addicted Fans With New Animal Crossing Features
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Dangles Digital Carrots At Addicted Fans With New Animal Crossing Features

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Nintendo Has Decided That January 15th Is the Day We Finally Ascend to Our Highest Animal Crossing Selves…

The Reiners’ Kid Nick Gets a Mystery Felony Upgrade Right After Mom and Dad Checked Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Reiners’ Kid Nick Gets a Mystery Felony Upgrade Right After Mom and Dad Checked Out

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

American Horror Story: Brentwood Edition – Another Hollywood Elite Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances, and the Plot Thickens! Well, well, well,…

Two People found chilling at Rob Reiner’s place because apparently that’s the new Airbnb
Breaking, Movie News

Two People found chilling at Rob Reiner’s place because apparently that’s the new Airbnb

FinnDecember 14, 2025December 14, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: TWO PEOPLE FOUND DEAD AT ROB REINER’S HOUSE, WHICH IS PROBABLY JUST A NEW SITCOM PILOT 🚨…

Brian Walske Jr. vs. The Garbage Bag of Justice: Why the Jury Might Settle for Lesser Homicide Because Apparently First-Degree Is Too Much Work
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brian Walske Jr. vs. The Garbage Bag of Justice: Why the Jury Might Settle for Lesser Homicide Because Apparently First-Degree Is Too Much Work

Big ElephantDecember 14, 2025December 14, 2025

Massachusetts Man Faces Murder Charges in Wife’s Disappearance Amid Claims of Lying and Body Disposal In a bizarre twist that…

As Epstein Releases Near, Americans Realize Trump Probably Just Knew Where the Good Bagels Were
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

As Epstein Releases Near, Americans Realize Trump Probably Just Knew Where the Good Bagels Were

Big ElephantDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

House Democrats Release New Epstein Photos in Latest Desperate Attempt to Drag Trump Through the Mud In a move that…

Mike Portnoy Says Dream Theater Will Finally Remember How to Write Songs Again in Late 2026
Breaking, Music News

Mike Portnoy Says Dream Theater Will Finally Remember How to Write Songs Again in Late 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

Mike Portnoy, the drummer who left DREAM THEATER over a decade ago, has returned like a prodigal son who forgot…

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)
Breaking, Movie News

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

‘Tis the season for brand new Christmas movies, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough yet. 🎄 As we plunge headfirst…

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons Weeps at 2025 Kennedy Center Honors While Pretending Ace Frehley Wasn’t Missing

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Gene Simmons Just Casually Declared Himself a Greek God While Accepting a Kennedy Center Honor, Because of Course He Did…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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