Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: UK

Cillian Murphy Milked for ’28 Years Later’ Trilogy: Only Shows Up After 2 Movies, Danny Boyle Begs for Cash
Breaking

Cillian Murphy Milked for ’28 Years Later’ Trilogy: Only Shows Up After 2 Movies, Danny Boyle Begs for Cash

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

So, Cillian Murphy, that guy who peaked in “Oppenheimer” (let’s be real, he was just okay in “28 Days Later”)…

Netflix dares to drop ‘scariest movie ever’ (as if we haven’t heard that before) with a ‘jaw-dropping plot twist’ (that probably makes no sense) that left fans screaming (probably from boredom)
Breaking

Netflix dares to drop ‘scariest movie ever’ (as if we haven’t heard that before) with a ‘jaw-dropping plot twist’ (that probably makes no sense) that left fans screaming (probably from boredom)

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Netflix is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with Barbarian, a cinematic masterpiece so terrifying, it’s been scientifically proven to make…

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online
Breaking

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Sinners, the cinematic masterpiece of 2025 (according to someone, somewhere), boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score so high it’s practically levitating,…

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July
Breaking

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Ozzy Osbourne, the bat-biting legend, and his equally legendary (debatable) family are gracing the Comic Con Midlands in Birmingham, UK,…

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
Breaking

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

**OMG! đŸ˜± Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years
Breaking

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

So, THE HAUNTED, those Swedish thrash metal *pioneers* (air quotes, obviously), are FINALLY gracing us with a new album, “Songs…

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People
Breaking

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

In a shocking exposĂ© with The UK Drum Show Official Podcast (because who ELSE would interview him?), STYX drummer and…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! đŸ™„ Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs đŸ¦•, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”
Breaking

Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2025May 18, 2025

According to Billboard, SLEEP TOKEN’s fourth full-length studio effort, “Even In Arcadia”, has landed at position No. 1 on the…

Robert Plant STILL Touring? (With Someone Called Saving Grace??) Gothenburg, 2025 – Get Your Hearing Aids Ready!
Breaking

Robert Plant STILL Touring? (With Someone Called Saving Grace??) Gothenburg, 2025 – Get Your Hearing Aids Ready!

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2025May 15, 2025

LED ZEPPELIN‘s former screamer, Robert Plant, and his “band,” SAVING GRACE, graced the stage of Göteborgs Konserthus in Gothenburg, Sweden,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 23 24 25 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: ICE Withholds Ilhan Omar Fraud Probe Records Citing Ongoing Proceedings
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump boasts strong endorsements and loyal candidates
  • Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
  • L’AGENCE Finally Decides to Make Clothes That Won’t Get You Kicked Out of the Country Club for Looking Like a Total Slob On the Tennis Court
  • Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.