Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Weapons

XBOX Games Showcase 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Senua’s Angst, Hellblade 2’s Sequel Now Ruins Your 2027 Too
Breaking, Games News

XBOX Games Showcase 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Senua’s Angst, Hellblade 2’s Sequel Now Ruins Your 2027 Too

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2026June 7, 2026

The wait is over, folks! 🎉 Ninja Theory has finally announced the third installment of the Hellblade series, and it’s…

Day of the Devs 2026: Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Video Games Already and Now We’re Gonna Take the Rest of It
Breaking, Games News

Day of the Devs 2026: Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Video Games Already and Now We’re Gonna Take the Rest of It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Day of the Devs 2026 was a wild ride, folks! 🎉👀 We’ve got the scoop on all the hottest new…

SGF 2026: Final Fantasy VII Revelation Finally Wraps Up The Remake Trilogy After A Decade Of Teasing And Milking The Franchise For Every Penny Next Spring
Breaking, Games News

SGF 2026: Final Fantasy VII Revelation Finally Wraps Up The Remake Trilogy After A Decade Of Teasing And Milking The Franchise For Every Penny Next Spring

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Get ready for the most epic gaming experience of your life, folks, as Final Fantasy VII Revelation is set to…

Elden Ring Tarnished Edition Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing the Base Game Already New Stuff Added to Further Ruin Your Social Life
Breaking, Games News

Elden Ring Tarnished Edition Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing the Base Game Already New Stuff Added to Further Ruin Your Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 4, 2026June 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exciting news? 🚀🎉 I mean, who isn’t hyped about playing Elden…

Oh Joy Another Roguelike Because We Were All Just Sitting Around Twiddling Our Thumbs Waiting For Chivalware To Save The Genre
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Another Roguelike Because We Were All Just Sitting Around Twiddling Our Thumbs Waiting For Chivalware To Save The Genre

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 1, 2026June 1, 2026

The roguelike genre has finally been saved by Chivalware, and I’m not being sarcastic at all 😂. I mean, who…

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 Because We Clearly Haven’t Milked This Franchise Enough Yet, Now With More Explosions and a Side of Kimchi
Breaking, Games News

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 Because We Clearly Haven’t Milked This Franchise Enough Yet, Now With More Explosions and a Side of Kimchi

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 29, 2026May 29, 2026

Get ready for another epic installment of Call of Duty, because Infinity Ward and Activision Blizzard have just announced the…

Warhammer 40,000 : Boltgun 2 Preview – Because One Hero Wasn’t Enough to Save Humanity from Certain Doom and Now We Get to Watch Another Guy Die Too
Breaking, Games News

Warhammer 40,000 : Boltgun 2 Preview – Because One Hero Wasn’t Enough to Save Humanity from Certain Doom and Now We Get to Watch Another Guy Die Too

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun 2 is the ultimate adrenaline rush for gamers who need a break from thinking too much 🤯.…

Crimson Desert’s Next Patch Will Probably Almost Definitely Maybe Add That One Thing You’ve Been Begging For But Let’s Be Real It’s Going To Mess Up Something Else Instead
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert’s Next Patch Will Probably Almost Definitely Maybe Add That One Thing You’ve Been Begging For But Let’s Be Real It’s Going To Mess Up Something Else Instead

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

The never-ending saga of patches and updates for Crimson Desert continues, because who needs a social life, anyway? 🤣 As…

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Xbox’s long-awaited Stranger Than Heaven presentation finally dropped, and boy, was it a wild ride 🎢! The biggest question on…

Diablo Immortal Is Doomed Because StarCraft Is Coming to Ruin Everything on May 13
Breaking News: Diablo Immortal and StarCraft are Colliding in a Limited-Time Event, Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway? 😴
Breaking, Games News

Diablo Immortal Is Doomed Because StarCraft Is Coming to Ruin Everything on May 13

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Blizzard Entertainment has announced that Diablo Immortal’s Sanctuary is about to get invaded by…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 15 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on August 22, 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • Companies Keep Tariff Refunds As Lovely Parting Gift To Themselves
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.