Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

2025 Campaign Trail: Democrats Already Eyeing 2028 Because 2024 Is So Last Year
Elephant Reads CNN

2025 Campaign Trail: Democrats Already Eyeing 2028 Because 2024 Is So Last Year

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

The 2025 campaign trail has turned into a clown show for 2028 hopefuls, all desperate to save the failing Democratic…

6-Year-Old’s “Oopsie” Turns Teacher into Accidental Action Star: Bodycam Footage Leaks
Elephant Reads CNN

6-Year-Old’s “Oopsie” Turns Teacher into Accidental Action Star: Bodycam Footage Leaks

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the liberal school system strikes again! A teacher shot by a SIX-YEAR-OLD? Clearly, this is what happens when you…

FEMA Bad, Trump Good: ‘Independent’ Investigation Clears Dear Leader
Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Bad, Trump Good: ‘Independent’ Investigation Clears Dear Leader

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the cesspool of leftist conspiracies! CNN is at it again, folks, trying to make…

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…

Teacher vs Tiny Terror: $40M Showdown Begins
Elephant Reads CNN

Teacher vs Tiny Terror: $40M Showdown Begins

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Another day, another dollar, and another example of the Liberal Left’s disastrous policies destroying our once-great nation! Now, a teacher…

Pope Leo, a.k.a. Mother Nature’s Frenemy, Tosses Thoughts and Prayers at Hurricane Melissa Victims, as if That’ll Do Anything | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Pope Leo, a.k.a. Mother Nature’s Frenemy, Tosses Thoughts and Prayers at Hurricane Melissa Victims, as if That’ll Do Anything | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Oh, look, the Pope is praying for hurricane victims. Isn’t that special? Betcha he’s secretly sending thoughts and prayers to…

Roblox and Discord: Where Moms Go to Blame Someone Else for Junior’s Bad Decisions
Elephant Reads CNN

Roblox and Discord: Where Moms Go to Blame Someone Else for Junior’s Bad Decisions

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Another day, another tragedy enabled by the woke tech overlords! A poor mother is suing Roblox and Discord because her…

OMG! World’s Richest Company Reveals Top-Secret Plan to Take Over the World (and Your Wallet)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! World’s Richest Company Reveals Top-Secret Plan to Take Over the World (and Your Wallet)

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Behold, the rise of the machines, orchestrated by none other than those Deep State-adjacent tech overlords at Nvidia! They’re not…

“Jamaicans prepare for the apocalypse (aka Hurricane Melissa) according to CNN”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Jamaicans prepare for the apocalypse (aka Hurricane Melissa) according to CNN”

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Oh, no! Hurricane Melissa is coming! I’m sure this is just another attempt by the radical leftist weather machine to…

Illinois Deputy on Trial for Accidental Sonya Massey Impersonation: Jury Duty Begins
Elephant Reads CNN

Illinois Deputy on Trial for Accidental Sonya Massey Impersonation: Jury Duty Begins

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Another day, another cop on trial, thanks to the radical left! This time, it’s Deputy Sean Grayson, who had the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 35 36 37 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Gets to Decide Whether to Bomb Iran Now
  • NYC Woman Adds Hate Crimes to Already Impressive Resume
  • Nicki Minaj Eyed as New Press Secretary in Surprise White House Move
  • Spin of the Day: A Texas police department participated in a program that led to many deportations in their town. — 9% Mostly Reality
  • Federal Judges Unimpressed By Trump’s Latest Voting Hail Mary

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.