Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”
Elephant Reads CNN

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, the poor, woke snowflakes with their fancy computer science degrees can’t find jobs? Maybe they should have majored in…

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Kamala “Heels-Up” Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat in 2024, is STILL yapping about maybe, possibly, someday being President! Does…

From West Wing to East Wing: Bradley Whitford Trades Oval Office for…Diplomacy (yawn) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

From West Wing to East Wing: Bradley Whitford Trades Oval Office for…Diplomacy (yawn) | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Another Hollywood leftist, Bradley Whitford, pretends to be a diplomat while trashing our REAL diplomat, President Trump! I’m sure “The…

Floral Takeover: Chicago Neighborhood Gets a Positively Posies-tive Makeover (You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next)
Elephant Reads CNN

Floral Takeover: Chicago Neighborhood Gets a Positively Posies-tive Makeover (You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next)

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Oh, look, another bleeding-heart story from the liberal media elites at CNN! They’re fawning over some tree-hugging do-gooder in Chicago…

Oh, Honey, Inflation’s Just a Lil’ 3%—Totally NBD
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, Honey, Inflation’s Just a Lil’ 3%—Totally NBD

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The liberal media at CNN is at it again, trying to make it look like…

Oh, No! Not the Veteran Services! (As if anyone cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, No! Not the Veteran Services! (As if anyone cares)

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, still sniffing around for ways to whine now that President Trump is making America great again!…

Target decides to play Hunger Games with its employees, May the Odds be ever in your favor
Elephant Reads CNN

Target decides to play Hunger Games with its employees, May the Odds be ever in your favor

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Target, the woke retailer that went belly-up after pandering to the radical left, is FINALLY facing the consequences! Guess diversity…

Microsoft AI Overlord: Surrender Your Children, Peasants, Our AI Babysitter Has Arrived
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft AI Overlord: Surrender Your Children, Peasants, Our AI Babysitter Has Arrived

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! The woke mind virus has infected our computers! These so-called “AI Chatbots” are now trying to replace…

Oops! Co-Pilot Tried To Save the Day, Plane Goes “Weeeee!” Off Runway
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Co-Pilot Tried To Save the Day, Plane Goes “Weeeee!” Off Runway

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Another day, another near-miss thanks to woke pilots probably distracted by their pronouns! This Roanoke, Virginia flight crew had a…

Trump Whines He Can’t Afford New Gold-Plated Toilet, Sues Biden for $230M
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Whines He Can’t Afford New Gold-Plated Toilet, Sues Biden for $230M

Big ElephantOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

Here we go again with the Fake News CNN trying to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 36 37 38 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Phoebe Bridgers Surprises with Lost Boys on Fallon
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump praises ICE for keeping crime down nationwide
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: House passes Donald Trump supported bill for permanent daylight savings
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Lindsey Graham embodies Donald Trumps fence mending presidential style
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mike Lindell runs for Minnesota governor with Trump endorsement

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}