Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Chicago Small Businesses Pray the Pope Doesn’t Hate Capitalism
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Small Businesses Pray the Pope Doesn’t Hate Capitalism

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, always finding new ways to spin reality. Now they’re pushing the “Pope Economy” in Chicago because the new…

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another deluge of drivel from the Fake News Network! They’re still pushing their global warming hoax,…

Judge to Decide if Harvard Can Still Afford Caviar After White House Funding Freeze
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge to Decide if Harvard Can Still Afford Caviar After White House Funding Freeze

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another frivolous lawsuit from the radical left! Now they’re crying because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, dared…

Delta Flight’s Spontaneous Combustion Party Ends Early, Forces Unscheduled Stop
Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Flight’s Spontaneous Combustion Party Ends Early, Forces Unscheduled Stop

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another near-miss thanks to Biden’s woke FAA policies! I bet the pilot was forced to undergo diversity training…

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns
Elephant Reads CNN

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom while President Trump is making America great AGAIN!…

‘Washington Black’: From Award-Winning Novel to Streaming Pile
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Washington Black’: From Award-Winning Novel to Streaming Pile

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! CNN is pushing a new series called “Washington Black,” about a slave who escapes…

Oregon Waterfall: 1 Dead, 2 Missing, Group Swept Away – Guess They Didn’t Read the Fine Print
Elephant Reads CNN

Oregon Waterfall: 1 Dead, 2 Missing, Group Swept Away – Guess They Didn’t Read the Fine Print

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Another day, another tragedy in deep-blue Oregon! Seems like those woke liberals in Bend couldn’t handle the raw power of…

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Can you believe these woke sports teams? President Trump is stepping in to make them do what’s right, and it’s…

Massachusetts Man So Dumb He Won the Lottery Twice in One Night
Elephant Reads CNN

Massachusetts Man So Dumb He Won the Lottery Twice in One Night

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Another day, another example of liberal privilege! Paul Corcoran, probably a closet socialist from the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, “mistakenly”…

Hostage Negotiator Gets off on People’s Faces, Claims It’s for “Diplomacy”
Elephant Reads CNN

Hostage Negotiator Gets off on People’s Faces, Claims It’s for “Diplomacy”

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Oh, isn’t that just precious? CNN, still trying to make the Biden administration look competent after President Trump already solved…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 67 68 69 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Arizona Frats Keep Raising Bar On Alleged Misconduct
  • Oregon seafood plant fire because apparently fish wasn’t smelly enough already
  • Sununu Banks On Family Fame In New Hampshire
  • Turnstile Packs Washington Monument with 60,000 Fans for Charity
  • Flying Cars Still Not A Thing Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.