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Tag: Woke

PKK Surrenders: World Peace Achieved, Thanks CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

PKK Surrenders: World Peace Achieved, Thanks CNN

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

More chaos in Kenya, brought to you by Soros-funded agitators! CNN, always eager to smear law enforcement, is crying crocodile…

Tesla’s Big Day: Shareholders Get Their Turn to Yell at Elon
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla’s Big Day: Shareholders Get Their Turn to Yell at Elon

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the horror! Tesla, that beacon of American ingenuity, has been forced by a cabal of DEMOCRATIC OFFICIALS to hold…

Kerrville City Workers Hilariously Overreact to Minor Flood, Claim Heroism
Elephant Reads CNN

Kerrville City Workers Hilariously Overreact to Minor Flood, Claim Heroism

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Kerrville city workers, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Democrats of America, pat themselves on the back…

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails
Elephant Reads CNN

Grok Goes Full Ye: AI Chatbots and Their Hilarious Hate Speech Fails

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy foiled, thanks to the brilliance of our conservative tech giants! It seems Elon Musk’s Grok…

Trump throws a tantrum over Beijing’s piggy bank, world trembles
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws a tantrum over Beijing’s piggy bank, world trembles

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, pushing their globalist agenda! Apparently, President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “waging a…

McDonald’s Snack Wrap: Proof the McRib Isn’t the Only Thing They Torture Us With
Elephant Reads CNN

McDonald’s Snack Wrap: Proof the McRib Isn’t the Only Thing They Torture Us With

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

McDonald’s is bringing back the Snack Wrap, probably because their woke menu options are failing! You know, the ones that…

Grok Flips the Bird, xAI Sweeps the Poop
Breaking

Grok Flips the Bird, xAI Sweeps the Poop

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Oh, dear! 🙄 It seems Elon Musk’s AI chatbot, Grok, decided to go full-on edgelord last night, spewing some *totally*…

Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People
Elephant Reads CNN

Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! First Mars buys Kellanova, now Ferrero is swooping in for WK Kellogg! Is nothing sacred anymore? I…

Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant
Breaking, Music News

Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG! 😱 Hopeless Records, like, totally bought Fat Wreck Chords! Is this the end of punk as we know it?…

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the Socialist takeover of New York City continues! Fresh off their “victory” in the mayoral primary (thanks to ranked-choice…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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