‘1000-Lb Sisters’ Episode Begins With Disclaimer That Something Wrong With You For Watching
Read MoreThe OnionATLANTA—Reminding you that the views expressed in the show serve as a reflection of your own depravity, a…
Month: July 2025
Elon Sends Optimus Robot Back In Time To Terminate ‘Big Beautiful Bill’
AUSTIN, TX — Tension between President Donald Trump his wealthiest and most well-known supporter reached a new level today, as…
May’s Job Market: An Oops! We Hired More People Than We Fired!
More Fake News from CNN! They begrudgingly admit the Trump economy is still roaring, but can’t help themselves with a…
Senate GOP Hurries to Rubber-Stamp Trump’s “Totally Awesome” Agenda After Thune Bribes Holdouts with Free Hats to End Their Historic Temper Tantrum
Senate Republicans are finally doing something right and pushing through President Trump’s America First agenda, despite the usual Deep State…
OMG! Gas Prices Plunge Back to the Stone Age (aka 2021)
Fake News CNN is trying to give Biden credit for low gas prices, but everyone knows it’s all thanks to…
US Senate Decides to Stop Punching AI in the Face, For Now
Oh, the Senate “voted” 99-1 against something? Sounds like the Deep State is working overtime! They almost unanimously removed a…
3 Times Trump’s Tariffs Magically Didn’t Fail Miserably
Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump’s brilliant strategies! They whine that his…
Adulting is Hard: Making Bank Moves While the World’s on Fire
CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom, are at it again! Apparently, the world is ending because you might have…
VA Hospital Staff Morale Plummets to Mariana Trench Depths as Doctors Become Janitors and Nurses Play Hide-and-Seek With Supplies
Another day, another liberal media outlet trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN is at it again, folks, pushing…
Sadist Announces Russian Tour, Forgets World Still Has Internet
In a move so tone-deaf it could be heard in Morse code, Italian metal band Sadist has announced two upcoming…