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Month: July 2025

Senate Dems Invoke Ancient Ritual to Unleash Epstein’s Forbidden Scroll
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Dems Invoke Ancient Ritual to Unleash Epstein’s Forbidden Scroll

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Chuckie Schumer and his band of merry socialist Democrats are at it, demanding more Epstein…

Manhattan Shooting: Thoughts and Prayers Edition, Cops Still Clueless
Elephant Reads CNN

Manhattan Shooting: Thoughts and Prayers Edition, Cops Still Clueless

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another day, another tragedy in our once-great nation. Seems like even with President Trump making America great…

Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Breaking News: The geriatric bat-muncher, Ozzy Osbourne, has FINALLY shuffled off this mortal coil! 🥳 And because we live in…

US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2
Elephant Reads CNN

US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Another WIN for President Trump! The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay it, but the US economy is…

Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office
Breaking, Movie News

Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Disney, bless their cotton socks, FINALLY dropped a trailer for Zootopia 2. Like, who even asked…

James Cameron Milks ‘Avatar’ With Cartoon for Babies
Breaking, Movie News

James Cameron Milks ‘Avatar’ With Cartoon for Babies

FinnJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

OMG! 😱 James Cameron, bless his heart (and ego), is allegedly considering an animated Avatar spinoff. Because what the world…

Viktor Gyökeres: Is This the Guy Who’s Gonna Save Arsenal? LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Viktor Gyökeres: Is This the Guy Who’s Gonna Save Arsenal? LOL

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Another European socialist infiltrates our sacred sport! Viktor Gyökeres, likely funded by Soros, joins Arsenal, a club known for its…

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…

Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit
Breaking, Games News

Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

OMG! 😱 FromSoftware DELAYS Elden Ring Nightreign Duo Expeditions Because the Ocean Decided to Throw a Tantrum! 🌊 Like, Seriously?…

Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

So, Pokémon TCG Pocket, the groundbreaking digital card game that’s totally not just a cynical cash grab, apparently had a…

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Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2025
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