CHICAGO—Calling the update a major breakthrough for players who enjoy new-ball smell, Wilson Sporting Goods officials unveiled a new line of tennis balls Tuesday that contain even more smell. “We know tennis fans love that bright chemical fragrance, so we dipped these balls in as much smell as they could physically absorb,” said Wilson spokesperson Annie Intrabartola, adding that the company had reformulated its signature pressurized cans to release an incredibly potent plume of tennis ball odor capable of filling an entire home within seconds. “The second you crack a can open, it’ll be like a punch in the sinuses. Your couch will smell like tennis balls. Your clothes will smell like tennis balls. Your children will smell like tennis balls. If you play tennis with these balls, you will get a migraine. The smell is that strong.” Intrabartola added that the balls should not be used by individuals who are pregnant, over 55, immunocompromised, or taking medication for a heart condition.
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CHICAGO—Calling the update a major breakthrough for players who enjoy new-ball smell, Wilson Sporting Goods officials unveiled a new line of tennis balls Tuesday that contain even more smell. “We know tennis fans love that bright chemical fragrance, so we dipped these balls in as much smell as they could physically absorb,” said Wilson spokesperson
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
