President Trump promised a $5,000 “Trump Dividend” to every American adult should Republicans maintain control of both the House and the Senate after the midterm elections, which would likely cost over $1 trillion in total. What do you think?
“Yes, bribery is crucial to American elections, but we mustn’t forget blackmail and extortion either.”
Ezra Clay, Avocado Pitter
“Waiting to hear Chuck Schumer’s counteroffer before committing one way or another.”
Laurel Zimmerman, Unemployed
“Throw in a little Yosemite, and you bought yourself a voter.”
Alec Moss, Molecule Stabilizer
The post Trump Promises Americans $5,000 If GOP Maintains Control Of Congress appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
