In what may go down as one of the wildest mix-ups in rock history, Tim «Herb» Alexander, Primusâ notoriously on-again, off-again drummer, has left the band â not, as he claimed, due to «loss of passion» or even «physical health and family issues.» No, the truth is far stranger: Alexander spent nearly four decades drumming for Primus, believing the entire time that he was in the epic pagan metal band, Primordial. Yes, folks, you read that right. After a case of mistaken identity at an audition back in 1987, Alexander somehow landed in the funk-metal world of Primus, all the while thinking he was blasting beats for a group of Irish metalheads. đ€Šââïž
The story goes like this: in the late ’80s, Alexander auditioned to join Primordial, but on his way to what he thought would be a career in the Celtic-infused metal scene, he got a bit⊠lost. After a fateful mix-up of signs backstage â exacerbated, apparently, by poor eyesight â he walked right onto the set of Primus, who, delighted by his drumming, welcomed him with open arms. Primordial, meanwhile, shrugged him off as just another flake and forgot all about him. And so Alexander, blissfully unaware, spent the next 40 years laying down funky grooves with Primus, assuming his thunderous tribal rhythms were contributing to a different kind of headbanger crowd entirely. đ
As for why it took him this long to realize his mistake? Well, perhaps it was the constant turnover â this marks the third time Alexander has officially «left» Primus, only to rejoin later. But this time, things were different. Last week, after nearly four decades, the drummer finally recognized the band’s music wasnât quite what heâd expected from a pagan metal group. Itâs been an epiphany of almost biblical proportions: as of today, Alexander has signed with Primordial, now finally able to live his headbanging dreams. đ€
The real kicker? Primordial had actually been struggling with their current drummer for years, and now Alexander will step in to bring his long-belated rhythm to their ranks. Simon O’Laoghaire may be out of a job, but at least Tim can finally play with the group heâs always thought he was in â a twist that not even rockâs weirdest storybooks couldâve written. đ„
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true callingâor at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
