Geriatric Rockers and Late Night Host Shill Out for Overpriced Coffee: A Tragedy in Four Lattes
LEGENDS OF CLASSIC ROCK, a supergroup so legendary it makes Spinal Tap look like a well-adjusted support group, graced the…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
VIVIAN CAMPBELL, Against All Odds (and Doctors), Still Ripping With DEF LEPPARD After Dodging Death (Again)
BREAKING: Has-Been Band DEF LEPPARD Hauls Vivian Campbell’s Corpse Onstage For One Last Paycheck! 👴🎸💀 So, apparently, DEF LEPPARD, those…
FOO FIGHTERS KICK OUT JOSH FREESE?! He’s TOTALLY FINE GUYS, Just Mildly Annoyed They Replaced Him With a Drum Machine
Drummer Josh Freese has been FIRED from the FOO FIGHTERS! 🤣 Did anyone actually notice he was even *in* the…
The Rasmus, bless their hearts, Unveil ‘Weirdo’ Album Deets & Drop Another Earworm ‘Break These Chains’ (Please Don’t)
Okay, so apparently THE RASMUS, those guys who peaked in, like, 2003 with “In the Shadows” (still a banger, let’s…
PRESIDENT’s Debut Single: ‘In The Name Of The Father’ – Or How We Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Autotune
Behold! PRESIDENT, the most mysterious (and probably overhyped) masked British rock band EVER, has graced us with their debut single,…
JOHN 5 UNLEASHES ‘FIEND’ UPON UNWARY EARS, ARONOFF’S DRUMS SOMEHOW INVOLVED
OMG! 😱🎸 Shred Lord John 5, fresh from his totally-not-controversial-at-all gig replacing Mick Mars in Mötley Crüe (more on that…
Orianthi Dares to Release ‘Some Kind Of Feeling’ Album, Unleashes ‘Attention’ Single (As If We Didn’t Already Know She Wanted It)
OMG! 😱🎸 Orianthi, she of the almost-was-but-not-quite Michael Jackson fame, is dropping a new album called “Some Kind Of Feeling”!…
LORNA SHORE: New Album
OMG! LORNA SHORE is gracing us with their presence in 2025! Prepare yourselves, mortals, for the sonic apocalypse! 🤘 They’re…
I Prevail Throws Out Perfectly Good Screamer, Claims It Was An “Accident”
I PREVAIL, those Michigan rockers who somehow managed to get a platinum record and a couple of participation trophies (aka…
BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD Claims He’s Now a Yoga Instructor Between Bangover Recovery Sessions
In a groundbreaking interview with Neeka Rogers of Metal Nation, BUCKCHERRY frontman Josh Todd, a man who clearly has all…