Starbucks Appeals To Men With New Zyn Spice Frappucino
SEATTLE, WA — In an effort to attract more male customers, Starbucks announced the release of its new Zyn…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
17 Illegal Immigrants Found Hiding Under Pope’s Hat
VATICAN CITY — Following his public statement condemning the Trump administration’s hardline immigration policies, a shocking new report indicated…
Shedeur Sanders Confident He Can Deliver Everything Browns Fans Have Come To Expect
CLEVELAND—Saying he was ready to carry on the legacy forged by Cody Kessler, Dorian Thompson-Robinson, and dozens of other…
Religiosity In U.S. Drops To Lowest On Record
A new Gallup poll found that fewer than half of Americans now say religion is important in their daily…
Congress Passes Resolution To Release Santa’s Naughty/Nice List
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Lawmakers sent shockwaves around the globe with the Christmas season right around the corner, as Congress…
Alligator Alcatraz By The Numbers
Alligator Alcatraz, a massive migrant detention center in Florida’s Everglades, has been plagued by reports of inhumane conditions and…
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Brain Exploded When They Tried to Reboot ‘Total Recall’ (Spoiler: It Was a Total Fail)
OMG, you guys! 🙄 Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who peaked in the ’80s and ’90s (no offense, Arnie ❤️), has…
Nation Wonders Whatever Happened To The Guy Who Made ‘Aliens’ And ‘Terminator 2’ And Then Just Completely Stopped Making Movies
U.S. — The results of a national survey revealed that nearly 90% of moviegoers were curious about what happened…
Live-Action Remake Of Animated Film 98% Animated
Los Angeles, CA — Walt Disney Studios unveiled the teaser trailer this week for a much-anticipated live-action remake of…
Gifted Khashoggi Head Mounted In Oval Office
The post Gifted Khashoggi Head Mounted In Oval Office appeared first on The Onion. The post Gifted Khashoggi Head…