White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In a stunning security breach that reportedly left many top-ranking administration officials vulnerable to attack, the White House…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Biden’s Teleprompter Assures Nation It Approved All Autopen Decisions
WASHINTON, D.C. — Former President Joe Biden’s teleprompter cleared up some recent controversy in a statement it released Monday, stating…
Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters
Oh great, another Spider-Man movie 🙄. As if we needed more of Tom Holland in spandex, desperately trying to convince…
Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes
Finally, some good news! Rian Johnson, the guy who RUINED Star Wars (yeah, I said it 😤), says the next…
Another Hollywood Nepo Baby Sounds Off on Superman Casting, As If We Care
Oh, dear Lord, another Superman movie? 🙄 Is there really nothing else Hollywood can come up with? Will Reeve, son…
Disney’s Bringing Back Walt as a Robot Overlord, Prepare for the Mouse-pocalypse
OMG! 😲 After, like, a million years (okay, 60), Walt Disney is STILL haunting Disneyland! 👻 I mean, his face…
James Gunn’s ‘Superman’ Movie Breaks Record for Most Money Made in Superman History (No Duh)
James Gunn’s *Superman* (or as I like to call it, “Super-Meh”) actually managed to flutter into theaters and not immediately…
Artist Profile: Haim
Read MoreThe OnionHaim will begin touring this fall to promote I Quit, their fourth studio album. The Onion shares everything…
150-Pound Jabba The Hut Denies Using Ozempic
TATOOINE — Despite rumors circulating that the infamous gangster had transformed his look with the help of the trendy weight-loss…
‘Wicked: For Good’ Should Embrace the Book Ending (Because Chaos is Hilarious)
Oh honey, HOLD👏UP👏. You think this article is about *preferences*? Please. It’s about demanding Hollywood FINALLY gets something right. I…