James Gunn’s *Superman* (or as I like to call it, “Super-Meh”) actually managed to flutter into theaters and not immediately crash and burn like a Kryptonian meteor. 🙄 It raked in a whopping $122 million domestically, plus another $95 million from those strange lands overseas, totaling a “super” $217 million.
I mean, who are we kidding? It’s slightly better than *The Flash* (a measly $55 million), *Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom* (a pathetic $27.6 million), and the absolute dumpster fire that was *Joker: Folie a Deux* (a “laughable” $37.6 million). So, congrats, Gunn! You managed to outdo some REALLY low bars. 🎉 But hey, it’s the first film in the shiny, NEW DC Universe (because the old one was SOOOO good, right? 😅). So, yeah, it HAD to do well…or else. 💥
*Superman* is only the THIRD film of 2025 to make over $100 million on opening weekend. Wow. Groundbreaking. 🤯 *A Minecraft Movie* (because THAT’S what audiences want, apparently) scored $162 million, and *Lilo & Stitch* (because nostalgia is the only thing keeping Hollywood afloat) got $146 million. And let’s not forget *The Batman* back in 2022, which pulled in $134 million. Seriously, are we impressed yet? I’m trying to be…but it’s hard. 😴
And get this: it’s the BIGGEST opening weekend for a SOLO *Superman* movie EVER! 🤩 But wait, there’s an asterisk. 🙄 *Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice* (aka the movie where they asked Martha why she said that name) made $166 million in 2016. Of course, that had TWO (or three, if you count Wonder Woman, which I barely do) “A-list” heroes and probably cost more than my entire existence. 💸 Speaking of money, *Superman* cost a “mere” $225 million (according to the internet, so it MUST be true!), while *Batman v Superman* was a cool $250 million. Peanuts, I tell ya! 🥜
While Gunn’s *Superman* outdid Zack Snyder’s *Man of Steel* ($122 million vs. $116 million), let’s remember that pesky thing called inflation. Adjusted for that, *Man of Steel* made $161 million. So, yeah…Snyder still wins. 🤷♂️ (Snyder Cut forever!)
So, *Superman* had a “solid” start. Okay. It’s one of the BIGGEST *Superman* films EVER. Sure, Jan. But it needs to keep doing well, which will be tough with those other movies coming out, like the new *Smurfs* (yay…), *I Know What You Did Last Summer* (because reboots are ALWAYS a good idea!), and, of course, Marvel’s *The Fantastic Four: First Steps* (the movie that will save cinema! NOT!). 🎬 Good luck, Gunn! You’ll need it. 🙏
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
