OMG! 😲 After, like, a million years (okay, 60), Walt Disney is STILL haunting Disneyland! 👻 I mean, his face is plastered everywhere – on plaques, in rides, even the employees are brainwashed with Disney mythology. But, HOLD UP! ✋ He NEVER had his own audio-animatronic?! Seriously?! 🙄
FINALLY! 🎉 Disney (or, you know, his robot doppelganger) is taking center stage in “Walt Disney: A Magical Life.” ✨ It’s Disneyland’s 70th-anniversary gift to… well, themselves. According to the Disney Parks Blog (aka, the Disney propaganda machine 📢), it’s a “great opportunity” to remind us peasants of Walt’s “incredible story” through film and the “magic” of Audio-Animatronics. 🤖 Because nothing says “magic” like a creepy robot version of a dead guy, amirite?
So, you shuffle through a lobby full of Disneyland’s dusty old junk 📦 (aka “artifacts”), watch a snooze-fest called “One Man’s Dream” 😴, and then… BAM! 💥 The “first Audio-Animatronics figure of Walt Disney EVER CREATED” pops up in a recreation of his office. 🏢 The robot even “speaks” using recordings of the REAL Walt Disney. I bet it’s just him ordering a pack of cigarettes and complaining about taxes. 🚬💸 Groundbreaking.
Wanna see this technological marvel in action? Of course, you do! 👇 Don’t get too excited, though.
Okay, I never met Walt Disney in the flesh (thankfully 🙏), but I’ve seen enough of his films and videos to know a thing or two. And this animatronic? 🤔 It’s… questionable. Like, it doesn’t look AWFUL, but does it scream “Walt Disney”? Nah. 🙅♀️ If you showed me the video’s thumbnail, the suit and the super-authentic-looking room (which REALLY captures the vibe of Walt’s office from that old TV show 📺) would give it away. But if you cropped the head and slapped it on a blank background? 🖼️ I wouldn’t have a clue who it was! Maybe it’s more convincing in person? 🤷♀️ (Probably not.)
“Walt Disney: A Magical Life” is opening at Disneyland on July 17th. You can find it in the Disneyland Opera House on Main Street, U.S.A. 🇺🇸 (aka, the most American place on Earth, besides maybe a monster truck rally 🛻). It’s taking over the spot where “Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln” used to be, complete with ITS OWN audio-animatronic Abe Lincoln! 👴 Apparently, “Walt Disney: A Magical Life” is a full-time gig for now, but Mr. Lincoln is expected to return next year for some kind of tag-team show. 🤝 Can you imagine the awkwardness? 😬
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
