After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
LOS ANGELES, CA — After multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart
Oh no! A woman has accused a political candidate of vile deeds! But should you believe them? Oh no!…
Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion
Among Americans, there remains an ever-growing divide between those who are pro-life and those who are pro-killing-their-baby. In an…
‘Obsession’ Director Says He Got Idea For Horror Movie Having Once Met A Woman
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Director Curry Barker has a surprise hit on his hands with his indie horror movie Obsession,…
Zeus Lands Cameo Role As Trojan Soldier In ‘The Odyssey’
LOS ANGELES—Sending fans of Greek mythology into a frenzy on social media, The Odyssey director Christopher Nolan confirmed Friday that god…
What Are We Donating To Goodwill?
The post What Are We Donating To Goodwill? appeared first on The Onion. The post What Are We Donating…
Slipknot Orders Trump To Stop Using Their Masks During Rallies
DES MOINES, IA—Joining a long line of musicians who have threatened legal action against the commander-in-chief, nu-metal band Slipknot…
Phoebe Bridgers Concertgoer Dips Into Bathroom To Snort Line Of Zoloft
The post Phoebe Bridgers Concertgoer Dips Into Bathroom To Snort Line Of Zoloft appeared first on The Onion. The…
Trump Orders Advanced Federal Review Of Frontier AI Models
President Donald Trump signed an executive order for AI companies to provide the federal government early access to their…
40-Year Old Man Now Spends Inordinate Amount Of Time Researching Electrolytes
SAN ANTONIO, TX — Sources confirmed that local 40-year-old Marcus Harper officially entered the developmental stage of adulthood characterized…