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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

OMG, Lawmaker Has a Meltdown Over Being on Some Dude’s Totally-Not-Scary List
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, Lawmaker Has a Meltdown Over Being on Some Dude’s Totally-Not-Scary List

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist bites the dust! This Minnesota mess just proves what happens when you let the Democrats…

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)
Elephant Reads CNN

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, those poor, oppressed workers are being forced to work long hours thanks to the…

DHS U-turns: Now Serving Deportations with Your Farm-to-Table Salad and Motel Pillow Mint
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS U-turns: Now Serving Deportations with Your Farm-to-Table Salad and Motel Pillow Mint

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

More Whiplash from DHS! Apparently, even they’re struggling to keep up with the sheer genius of President Trump’s immigration policies.…

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs
Elephant Reads CNN

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is now blaming President Trump for…checks notes…Americans buying too much stuff? Apparently, these socialists think you…

Trump’s SHOCKING G7 Exit: CNN Reporter Gets the REAL Reason (You Won’t Believe It!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s SHOCKING G7 Exit: CNN Reporter Gets the REAL Reason (You Won’t Believe It!)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Our glorious leader Trump, back from hobnobbing with globalist elites at the G7, faced the fake news media head-on! CNN’s…

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Elephant Reads CNN

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…

California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out
Elephant Reads CNN

California Bill: Now Cops Can’t Hide Their Disappointment After a Donut Runs Out

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

California is going full-blown Communist! Now they want to unmask our brave ICE officers, probably so the Antifa mob can…

Ex-Defense Minister of Israel Believes Iran Conflict Can Be Solved With Hugs and Rainbows
Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-Defense Minister of Israel Believes Iran Conflict Can Be Solved With Hugs and Rainbows

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, another deep dive into the Mideast mess, courtesy of CNN and their latest attempt to undermine Israel! They’re chatting…

G7 Morons Agree on Shiny Rock Strategy, World Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

G7 Morons Agree on Shiny Rock Strategy, World Doomed

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

The “woke” G7 is panicking because China is cutting off their supply of shiny rocks! Looks like someone forgot to…

CNN: Where News Breaks (Like My Patience) and Videos Bore
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Where News Breaks (Like My Patience) and Videos Bore

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, look, Iran and Israel are at it again. More missiles flying around than brain cells in a Biden rally.…

Posts pagination

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Most Viewed Posts

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  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,134)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (937)

Latest posts

  • Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
  • Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)
  • Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
  • Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business
  • “ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN

Archives

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  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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