JD Vance To Personally Care For Chickens At Naval Observatory
JD Vance has commissioned a custom chicken coop to be installed at the official Vice Presidential residence at the…
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Learning from Trump, Man Successfully Negotiates Wife Down To Absolutely Everything She Wants
DAYTON, OH — Local man Troy Greer announced that after a long, intense round of negotiations with his wife,…
Man Continues Tenth Year Of Sending Just A Thumbs Up To Every Single Text Message He Receives
ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying…
JINJER in Charlotte: Sick Entheos Singer, Insane Crystal Lake & Fashion Week Tatiana 🤘👜🔥
JINJER arrived at a sold-out Fillmore Charlotte as part of their North American Duél Tour 2026, but by the end…
World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For A While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump’s incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country…
Trump Warns U.S. Will No Longer Protect G7 From Threat Of Jigsaw
ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE—Claiming their failure to help America would now leave the nations incredibly vulnerable to the danger of shotgun…
Pokémon Pokopia’s Super Awesome Totally Not Going to Crash the Servers Free Event “Wish Upon A Jirachi” Because We Clearly Learned from Our Past Mistakes Starts Next Week
The Pokémon Company has just announced that they’re bringing a little extra magic to their cozy life simulator, Pokémon Pokopia,…
Out of Words Is Chasing Something Way More Epic Than Just Letting You Play With Your Friends Without Too Much Drama
Oh boy, are you guys ready for a game that’s so deep, so emotional, so life-changing, that you’ll forget all…
Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn’t Make Everyone Want To Kill Him
CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that…
New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car
The post New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car appeared first on The Onion. The…