🎤 Snoop Dogg’s Hazy Night: Forgets Performing at Trump’s Crypto Bash! 🕶️
In a twist that could only happen in 2025, rapper Snoop Dogg, the 53-year-old hip-hop legend, found himself at the…
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With TikTok Ban, Americans Now Only Being Spied On By Pentagon, Google, Facebook, Apple, Samsung, Doorbell, Toaster
U.S. — The general public was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief this weekend due to knowing that,…
Biden Confirms That Before Declaring New Amendment, He Talked To Respected Constitutional Scholars Beavis And Butt-Head
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning declaration, President Biden has unilaterally added a new amendment to the Constitution, officially making…
FDA Bans Red Food Dye
Read MoreThe OnionThe U.S. Food and Drug Administration has banned the use of red dye No. 3 in food, beverages,…
With TikTok Banned, China Forced To Spy On Americans By Hiding Little Cameras In Fortune Cookies
BEIJING — With a TikTok ban soon to take effect in the United States, the Chinese Communist Party was forced…
Egyptologists Unearth Depictions Of Simple Ramps, Levers Aliens Used To Build Pyramids
Read MoreThe OnionCAIRO—Finally solving the mystery of how such architectural wonders could have been built with primitive tools in ancient…
Ohtani Generously Donates 7 At-Bats’ Worth Of Salary To California Fire Victims
LOS ANGELES, CA — As the surrounding areas of Los Angeles faced the daunting task of rebuilding after the devastation…
Babylon Bee Fashion Tip: Ladies, Choose Your Rattiest Set Of Pajamas To Wear To The Airport
U.S. — Airports can be hard, especially when you’re a woman trying to decide on the best outfit to wear…
Gen Z: Here Are 15 Things You Can Do With Your Time Now That TikTok Is Banned
TikTok has been officially banned over concerns of improper data collection and the spread of propaganda from the Chinese-owned app.…
😱 Monkey Business: BLM Sees Racism in a new Osgood Perkins horror!
Well, folks, it seems the perpetually offended have found their newest target, and this time, it’s not a historical statue,…