California Police Arrest Arsonist For Using Gas Blowtorch Instead Of Electric Blowtorch
LOS ANGELES, CA — As the devastation spread and the death toll continued to rise with firefighters working tirelessly to…
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Trump Suggests Changing Name Of Gulf Of Mexico
Read MoreThe OnionAt least five fires across the Los Angeles area, including one in Hollywood Hills, scorched more than 45…
Jill Biden Prepares For Final Week As President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the inauguration of President-elect Donald Trump set to take place next Monday, White House insiders revealed…
🌟 Breaking: DEI Crumbles as Studios Focus on Fun Over Preaching! 😱
Gaming studios across the globe are reportedly abandoning the DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) philosophy, causing a stir in both…
Tips For Supporting New Parents
Read MoreThe OnionAdjusting to life with a newborn is a formidable task. The Onion presents tips for supporting the new…
Historic Wildfires Ravage Los Angeles
Read MoreThe OnionAt least five fires across the Los Angeles area, including one in Hollywood Hills, scorched more than 45…
Distressing Survey Finds Most U.S. Citizens Unable To Name All 340 Million Americans
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Revealing a steep decline in the populace’s knowledge of its own country, a distressing survey commissioned Monday by…
🌌 Asteroid vs. Bieber: America’s Bold Plan to Stop His 2025 Music Comeback!
In a move that would make Hollywood disaster films look tame, a growing movement in the United States is petitioning…
Los Angeles Saved After Meghan Markle Arrives To Stand Around Wearing Baseball Cap
LOS ANGELES, CA — In what many are already calling a modern-day miracle, the city of Los Angeles was saved…
Kamala Harris Stymied As Argument With Talking Cactus Toy Enters Third Hour
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris continued to get the worst of the exchanges as a heated argument with…