Gamera: Giant Turtle Beats Godzilla (Again) at Fancy Theater
OMG! 🐢Secret Movie Club presents “Gamera: Guardian of the Universe” on Sunday, August 31, 2025, at 10am! Million Dollar Theater,…
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“Mommy Dearest’s Hitman Hired on a Whim? Kids, Cons & Feds Tell All”
Folks, another day, another example of the Deep State witch hunt against innocent patriots! This time, it’s Donna Adelson, a…
From Zero to Hero (Maybe): Holiday Weekend Lottery Offers a Shot at Instant Billionaire Status
Another day, another chance for some lucky patriot to win big and help MAGA! Saturday’s Powerball jackpot is a whopping…
Dino Claims New Guy Sounds Just Like Burton… From Like, Way Back In The Stone Age
In a recent totally unbiased and not-at-all-paid-for interview with Metalshop TV, FEAR FACTORY’s very own guitar “hero” Dino Cazares graced…
Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…
Microsoft Employees Protest Company’s Ties To Israel
Read MoreThe OnionFollowing reports the company let the Israeli military use its cloud servers to carry out mass surveillance of…
Congregation’s Men Hit By Sudden Wave Of Allergies During Singing Of ‘Old Rugged Cross’
TOMBALL, TX — A sudden, inexplicable wave of allergies struck the men of Redeemer Church this morning during the singing…
How to Labor LESS and Still Have Money this Labor Day Weekend: A CNN Business Masterclass in Being Cheap
Ah, Labor Day, the last hurrah before we get back to MAGA business! But even patriots need to pinch pennies…
Russia and China: World Order Remodelers Extraordinaire
Oh, the horror! Russia and China, those paragons of virtue, are “reshaping the world order.” More like scheming to undermine…
Honey Deuce: Or How to Pretend You’re Fancy at the US Open
Oh, look, CNN is telling us what to drink now. Next, they’ll be mandating kale smoothies and lecturing us about…