FBI, Justice Department Buildings Briefly Listed For Sale
Read MoreThe OnionThe Trump administration briefly listed over 440 federal buildings for sale online before suddenly removing the document, which…
Category: The Onion
Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame,…
If Females Could Get Pregnant, There’d Be An Abortion Clinic On Every Coral
Read MoreThe OnionDespite the tide of aquatic opinion flowing in favor of reproductive rights for all, marine society still gives…
Police Catch Man Smuggling Cocaine Under Toupee
Read MoreThe OnionColombian police apprehended a man attempting to smuggle 220 grams of cocaine in small bags hidden under his…
Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’ appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…
Fact-Checking Trump On The Russia-Ukraine War
Read MoreThe OnionFollowing his Oval Office clash with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump has paused military aid to…
Town With Heavyset Mule Stuck In Barn Door Plumb Out Of Ideas
Read MoreThe OnionRANBURNE, AL—Concluding an hours-long summit with top thinkers from the area, residents of a town with a heavyset…
Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Golden Age Of China
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a…
Congress All Groggy Today After Staying Up Past 8:30
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all…
Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn…