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Category: The Onion

The Onion

Study: No One Born In U.S. For Past 5 Years

Finn McFrameJanuary 28, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionATLANTA—According to a new study published Tuesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, not a single…

Study Finds 4 In 10 Americans Could Develop Dementia After 55
The Onion

Study Finds 4 In 10 Americans Could Develop Dementia After 55

Finn McFrameJanuary 27, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionA study published in the journal Nature Medicine found that about a million Americans a year are expected…

The Onion

About-Facebook

Finn McFrameJanuary 27, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post About-Facebook appeared first on The Onion.   Finn McFrameFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…

The Onion

Artist Profile: Bad Bunny

Finn McFrameJanuary 24, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionBad Bunny’s new album Debí Tirar Más Fotos has climbed to No. 1 on the Billboard charts, beating…

Elon Musk Appears To Give Nazi Salute
The Onion

Elon Musk Appears To Give Nazi Salute

Finn McFrameJanuary 23, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionTesla CEO Elon Musk faced immediate backlash for a gesture he made while addressing a crowd at a…

The Onion

What To Know About The Jan. 6 Pardons

Finn McFrameJanuary 23, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump pardoned approximately 1,500 rioters who participated in the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol.…

The Onion

Black Market Organ Dealer Tired Of Being Asked If He’s Seen ‘Squid Game’

Finn McFrameJanuary 22, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionJACKSONVILLE, FL—Saying he had grown irritated with all the people who wanted to know if his occupation was…

The Onion

Mark David Chapman Decides To Just Go With It After Receiving January 6 Pardon

Finn McFrameJanuary 21, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionBEEKMAN, NY—Upon receiving the news that his name had somehow been included in an executive order granting clemency…

The Onion

Biden In Critical Condition After Sticking Tongue In Marine One Chopper Blade

Finn McFrameJanuary 21, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Biden In Critical Condition After Sticking Tongue In Marine One Chopper Blade appeared first on The…

The Onion

Better Copulate Than Never

Finn McFrameJanuary 21, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Better Copulate Than Never appeared first on The Onion.   Finn McFrameFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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