Accidental Mention Of Guest House Blows Years Of Subterfuge To Conceal Family’s Wealth From Friends
ST. LOUIS—Immediately ruining decades of graceful maneuvering to avoid discussion of the specific details of her upbringing, area woman…
Category: The Onion
Nation Proud Of Self For Watching, Enjoying Original Movie
WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S.…
Woman Dives Headfirst Into Thrilling Adventure By Blindly Purchasing Different Apple Variety
DALLAS—In a bold risk that strayed from her usual habits, local woman Emily Lentz reportedly dove headfirst into a…
Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon
The post Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon appeared first on The Onion.…
Daring Fusion Restaurant Mixes Texan, Mexican Flavors
AMARILLO, TX—Expressing astonishment over the unorthodox combination of the two distinct cuisines, local customers described the remarkable culinary innovation…
Artist Profile: Olivia Rodrigo
Singer-songwriter Olivia Rodrigo has released her highly anticipated third studio album, You Seem Pretty Sad For A Girl So…
NASA Criticized For Selecting All-Male Artemis III Crew
Many online criticized NASA’s decision to select only male astronauts for its upcoming Artemis III mission, with Administrator Jared…
Back Of Gatorade Bottle Features Recipe For Gatorade Casserole
The post Back Of Gatorade Bottle Features Recipe For Gatorade Casserole appeared first on The Onion. The post Back…
Study: Crying Not Linked To What You Said But The Way You Said It
BLOOMINGTON, IN—Scientists may be one step closer to answering the question of whether you are ineloquent or just an…
Poll: Fewer Americans Say Democracy Central To U.S. Identity
A recent poll found that only 66% of Americans claim that a democratically elected government is important to the…