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Category: The Onion

Tarantulas Overcome Southwest During Mating Season
The Onion

Tarantulas Overcome Southwest During Mating Season

FinnAugust 8, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThousands of male tarantulas are expected to emerge across several south and midwestern states in search of mates,…

The Onion

What To Know About The Tea App

FinnAugust 8, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionTea, an app that encourages women to write reviews about men they’ve dated, was recently hit by a…

The Onion

RFK Jr. Recommends Eating Good Cancer To Kill The Bad Cancer

FinnAugust 8, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Suggesting an unorthodox alternative to standard oncological treatments, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued…

The Onion

New Death With Indignity Law Lets Terminally Ill Be Crushed By Falling Vending Machines

FinnAugust 7, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionBOISE, ID—In what is being hailed as a victory for advocates of the right to end one’s life…

The Onion

Flour Sack Still Dealing With Trauma Of Being Raised By Single Teenage Mother

FinnAugust 7, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCLEVELAND—Revealing a vulnerable side while sharing the traumatic experience with a therapist, a 5-pound sack of flour confirmed…

Radioactive Wasp Nest Discovered Near Nuclear Waste Storage Site
The Onion

Radioactive Wasp Nest Discovered Near Nuclear Waste Storage Site

FinnAugust 6, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionA radioactive wasp nest was discovered at a U.S. Department of Energy facility in South Carolina that was…

The Onion

Top Reasons For Leaving Summer Camp Early

FinnAugust 6, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Top Reasons For Leaving Summer Camp Early appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…

Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up
The Onion

Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up

FinnAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionSYDNEY—Saying the ruse began as a harmless prank about the continent’s mammals having pouches, Australian Prime Minister Anthony…

Scott Disick Warns Son About Genetic Predisposition To Loserism
The Onion

Scott Disick Warns Son About Genetic Predisposition To Loserism

FinnAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Coming down to the child’s eye level in a moment of vulnerability, Scott Disick reportedly had an…

Tips For Watching A Meteor Shower
The Onion

Tips For Watching A Meteor Shower

FinnAugust 4, 2025August 5, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe Perseid meteor shower will soon light up the night sky as the Earth makes its annual transit…

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