Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods,…

Aerosmith’s Forgotten Bassist’s Side Hustle: Close Enemies Drops a Single Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith’s Forgotten Bassist’s Side Hustle: Close Enemies Drops a Single Nobody Asked For

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

CLOSE ENEMIES – the supergroup nobody asked for, featuring Tom Hamilton (AEROSMITH, or what’s left of it), Tony Brock (THE…

“We’re Doomed!”: US Lawmakers Suddenly Care After Minnesota’s Mildly Spicy Political Tiff | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

“We’re Doomed!”: US Lawmakers Suddenly Care After Minnesota’s Mildly Spicy Political Tiff | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks. According to CNN, those poor, defenseless Democrats are now scaredy-cats after…

Trump Runs From G7 Like a Toddler From Brussels Sprouts: Sources Say He Blames Middle East (and Sharing)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Runs From G7 Like a Toddler From Brussels Sprouts: Sources Say He Blames Middle East (and Sharing)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another globalist gathering foiled by the genius of President Trump! These so-called “leaders” probably spend more time plotting…

LEGO Fortnite Expeditions: 4 Players Enter, Only the Lag Survives
Breaking, Games News

LEGO Fortnite Expeditions: 4 Players Enter, Only the Lag Survives

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, great, another collab no one asked for! 🙄 Epic Games, those masterminds of originality, are back at it again,…

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker
Breaking, Movie News

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker

FinnJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, look, another soulless live-action remake nobody asked for! 🙄 Yes, friends, ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ is back, and…

“America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders” Returns to Bless Your Screen (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

“America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders” Returns to Bless Your Screen (Again)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, great, more distractions for the easily led! CNN is pushing “Summer Game Fest Play Days” with “LEGO Party” and…

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Remake: Because Originality Is SO Last Century | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Remake: Because Originality Is SO Last Century | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Another live-action remake, “How to Train Your Dragon,” soared to $83.7 million! Can you believe these woke Hollywood elites are…

FUBAR Season 2: More Explosions, Less Brains, Still Watching
Breaking, Movie News

FUBAR Season 2: More Explosions, Less Brains, Still Watching

FinnJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

‘FUBAR’ Season 2 earns a participation trophy of 7 out of 10 stars. Yes, you read that right. SEVEN. OUT.…

Hell Is Us: Because Apparently We Didn’t Learn Anything From Dante, Oops!
Breaking, Games News

Hell Is Us: Because Apparently We Didn’t Learn Anything From Dante, Oops!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Okay, so these guys, fresh from their *totally* amazing work on Warhammer (you know, the one that definitely didn’t have…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 45 46 47 … 52 Next

Latest posts

  • Because You Clearly Need to Pay to Exercise Outside on Grass like a Normal Human Being with Pure Barre
  • Waste Money on Overpriced Yoga Pants and Call it Pilates at lululemon
  • Curl Bar Block Party 4.0 Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do with Your Saturday
  • The Silence of the Rock Bartender 💀
  • Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}