Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…

Lilo & Stitch Live Action: Prepare for CGI Monstrosity 2025
Live

Lilo & Stitch Live Action: Prepare for CGI Monstrosity 2025

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 25, 2025

BIGflixx proudly presents Movies Beats & Eats for FREE! 🤣 Prepare for the latest flicks, cult classics & HD movies…

‘Birds of Prey’ Almost Soiled Themselves With an Iconic Batman Villain
Breaking, Movie News

‘Birds of Prey’ Almost Soiled Themselves With an Iconic Batman Villain

FinnAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 Apparently, our beloved 🤡Harley Quinn🤡 almost had a *totally* different nemesis in Birds of Prey!…

“From Croquet to Chaos: Bethesda’s Teatime Tranquility Terminated by Bolton’s Bombshell FBI Bash | CNN’s Political Prattle”
Elephant Reads CNN

“From Croquet to Chaos: Bethesda’s Teatime Tranquility Terminated by Bolton’s Bombshell FBI Bash | CNN’s Political Prattle”

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Oh, the drama! The Deep State is at it again, folks! They raided John Bolton’s house! Can you believe it?…

OMG! Giant Lizard About to Ruin Your Day!
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Giant Lizard About to Ruin Your Day!

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Oh, honey, brace yourselves because CLUE®: Godzilla is stomping its way into your utterly pathetic lives on September 24, 2025!…

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead
Breaking, Movie News

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🙄 Another film festival, another movie about… a mortician? Seriously? Abdolreza Kahani, bless his heart, decided to…

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Atlanta News First, purveyors of the finest clickbait, have graced us with a video report on the totally unexpected demise…

‘Archie’ Movie: Universal’s Latest Attempt to Milk Nostalgia Dry
Breaking, Movie News

‘Archie’ Movie: Universal’s Latest Attempt to Milk Nostalgia Dry

FinnAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Archie is getting a MOVIE?! 🎬 Like, who even asked for this? 🤷‍♀️ Is Hollywood seriously out of…

Gamescom ONL 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity!
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom ONL 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and prepare to be mildly amused by the sheer spectacle of gamescom ONL 2025, where the…

Fallout Season 2 Teaser: Prepare for More Irradiated Blandness
Breaking, Movie News

Fallout Season 2 Teaser: Prepare for More Irradiated Blandness

FinnAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Ah, yes, another entry into the “Fallout” saga. Because we *totally* needed more of this. Prime Video, bless their cotton…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 69 70 71 … 84 Next

Latest posts

  • McConnell’s Mysterious Disappearance Somehow Not Huge Headline Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE great golfer has very little time to play golf anymore
  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.