OMG! 😱 You guys are NOT gonna believe this! Netflix and Sony, bless their clueless little hearts, FINALLY decided to grace us with a sequel to KPop Demon Hunters! 🙄 Like, we didn’t already see that coming from a mile away? 🙄🙄🙄 I mean, it’s not like the first one was only, like, the BIGGEST animated “hit” (and I use that term loosely, cuz streaming movies are totally not REAL movies, right?) EVER! 🙄🙄🙄🙄
But wait for it… the plot THICKENS! 🤨 We’re gonna have to wait a whole FOUR YEARS for this cinematic masterpiece to drop?! 💀💀💀 I mean, seriously?! What are they doing, animating each frame by hand? ✍️ With, like, REAL unicorn hair brushes? 🦄🦄🦄 Get with the program, people! My attention span is, like, two seconds long! ⏳⏳⏳ I need my fix of sparkly K-pop demon-fighting action NOW! 😡😡😡
According to some snooty Bloomberg article (who even READS that?! 🤓), Netflix is planning on unleashing this thing upon us in the far-off, distant future of… 2029. 🗓️🗓️🗓️ I had to get my calculator out to double-check that number. 🧮🧮🧮 It’s basically an eternity in internet years! By then, K-pop will be so last season! 🤮🤮🤮 We’ll all be obsessed with, like, competitive vegetable gardening or something equally thrilling! 🥕🥦🌽
The REAL tea here is that Netflix and Sony were totally caught with their pants down! 👖⬇️⬇️⬇️ They had NO CLUE that KPop Demon Hunters would be such a “phenomenon.” 🙄🙄🙄 If they did, they would have already had, like, 50 sequels in the works! 🎬🎬🎬 And don’t even get me STARTED on the merch! 🛍️🛍️🛍️ They could have made, like, a GAZILLION dollars this Christmas if they had Huntr/x dolls on the shelves! 🧸🧸🧸 But noooo, they’re too busy twiddling their thumbs and counting their billions! 💰💰💰
Okay, so the movie is about this K-pop group called Huntr/x who are also demon-fighting superheroes. 🦸♀️🦸♀️🦸♀️ Very original, I know. 🙄🙄🙄 And the demons are trying to take over the world by creating their own boy band called the Saja Boys. 🎤🎤🎤 Because THAT’S how you conquer the world, right? With catchy tunes and synchronized dance moves? 🕺🕺🕺 Honestly, the plot is so ridiculous, it’s almost brilliant. 🤪🤪🤪 Almost.
And get this: they even released a sing-along version in theaters! 🎤🎶🎬 Who even goes to the movies anymore?! 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ Especially to see a movie that’s ALREADY AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ But hey, they made, like, $25 million, so who am I to judge? 🤑🤑🤑 Maybe people just really love singing along to poorly animated demon-fighting K-pop anthems. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
In conclusion, KPop Demon Hunters 2: Electric Boogaloo (or whatever they end up calling it) is coming… eventually. 🐌🐌🐌 But don’t hold your breath. 💨💨💨 By the time it finally arrives, we’ll all be too busy living in the metaverse and eating lab-grown meat to care about some silly K-pop group fighting CGI demons. 🤖🥩😴 Wake me up when it’s over! 😴😴😴
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
