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Tag: Family

JD Vance’s Marriage: Real or Just a Political Prop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Marriage: Real or Just a Political Prop

Big ElephantDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

JD Vance, that MAGA stud, says he and his wonderful wife Usha are laughing all the way to the bank…

Nickelodeon’s Sliming Its Way Into Fortnite, Bringing Back That One Guy You Forgot Existed
Breaking, Games News

Nickelodeon’s Sliming Its Way Into Fortnite, Bringing Back That One Guy You Forgot Existed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Oh, great, ANOTHER collab! 🙄 Fortnite, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is apparently dragging Nickelodeon’s *Danny Phantom* into…

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…

Guillermo Del Toro Throws Shade at AI Art, Declares War on Robots in Hollywood
Breaking, Movie News

Guillermo Del Toro Throws Shade at AI Art, Declares War on Robots in Hollywood

FinnDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Guillermo del Toro, the cinematic genius (or so he thinks 🙄), took a break from patting himself on the back…

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
Events, Music News

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…

CNN Asks: Zelensky Has a ‘Blind Spot’ For Corruption? No Way
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Zelensky Has a ‘Blind Spot’ For Corruption? No Way

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Another day, another Deep State drama! Zelensky’s buddy gets raided, probably for having too much Ukrainian Hryvnia and not enough…

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…

Greenland 2: Migration Character Posters – Prepare for Peak Cinema
Breaking, Movie News

Greenland 2: Migration Character Posters – Prepare for Peak Cinema

FinnNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh, look, another disaster movie! 🙄 Because we haven’t had enough of those, right? GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION is gracing our…

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Breaking, Music News

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…

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  • Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do Than Attend the PHirst Pham Cookout Official Afterparty

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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