Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Five

Kylie revives Fever again because nostalgia pays bills
Breaking, Music News

Kylie revives Fever again because nostalgia pays bills

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2026October 1, 2026

Twenty-five years to the day since it was first released, Kylie Minogue announces Fever (XXV Edition), a new edition of…

Talking Heads rehash Fear Of Music again because you clearly didnt buy it enough
Breaking, Music News

Talking Heads rehash Fear Of Music again because you clearly didnt buy it enough

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2026October 1, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, Talking Heads is back with an extensive reissue of their 1979 album Fear…

Industry Insiders Predict Next Big Consumer Tech cash grab
Breaking, Games News

Industry Insiders Predict Next Big Consumer Tech cash grab

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 30, 2026September 30, 2026

Every few months, a new gadget promises to revolutionize the world, but let’s be real, most of them are just…

Tension Guaranteed: Alien Deathstorm Squeezes Thirty Minutes of Thrills
Breaking, Games News

Tension Guaranteed: Alien Deathstorm Squeezes Thirty Minutes of Thrills

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 30, 2026September 30, 2026

As I sat down to play Alien Deathstorm at gamescom 2026, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I…

Pentagon Deployed to Save Midterms From Russian Meddling Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon Deployed to Save Midterms From Russian Meddling Again

Big ElephantSeptember 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has signed…

Senate Finally Does Something About College Sports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Finally Does Something About College Sports

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2026

The Senate just passed a major bill to overhaul college athletics, and I almost choked on my coffee reading about…

Rick Nielsen Selling Guitars To Pay For Cheap Trick’s Retirement Home
Breaking, Music News

Rick Nielsen Selling Guitars To Pay For Cheap Trick’s Retirement Home

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 28, 2026September 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously awesome news? 🤯 Rick Nielsen, the legendary guitarist of Cheap Trick,…

Trump Claims Grocery Prices Have Miraculously Plummeted, Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Grocery Prices Have Miraculously Plummeted, Again

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, trying to convince us…

When You Play Five Finger Death Punch at 7 AM 💀
Videos

When You Play Five Finger Death Punch at 7 AM 💀

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 28, 2026

Just wanted to play some Five Finger Death Punch. My neighbor had other plans. 💀 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy,…

Little Angels emerge from 32 year coma with new EP because you clearly needed this
Breaking, Music News

Little Angels emerge from 32 year coma with new EP because you clearly needed this

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 28, 2026September 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some news that’s been 32 years in the making? 🤯 I mean, I’m…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 26 Next

Latest posts

  • Hannity and EarhardtParty with Trump PreWedding
  • Atlanta ICE building gets free fire renovation courtesy of local resident
  • Justice Served With Extra Helping of Tragedy
  • Queensryche Still Exists And People Are For Some Reason Excited
  • Tony Iommi still trying to fix Born Again 40 years later

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.