Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Him

Ian Watkins’s Accused Killers Finally Unmasked; Ex Spills the Beans Post-Mortem
Breaking

Ian Watkins’s Accused Killers Finally Unmasked; Ex Spills the Beans Post-Mortem

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Can you believe it?! ðŸĪŠ The infamous LOSTPROPHETS dude, Ian Watkins, finally bit the dust! 💀 Seems like…

AC/DC’s Ex-Vocalist, Not Brian Johnson, Resurrects Obscure Pre-AC/DC Band RABBIT Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

AC/DC’s Ex-Vocalist, Not Brian Johnson, Resurrects Obscure Pre-AC/DC Band RABBIT Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Behold! ðŸĪĄ The original, the one, the only… DAVE EVANS is back! 🎉 To commemorate a half-century of… well, something…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂ïļ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Nuremberg: Finally, a movie about trials that’s not about your dating life
Breaking, Movie News

Nuremberg: Finally, a movie about trials that’s not about your dating life

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Dropping into cinemas November 14th, Nuremberg stars a bunch of actors who probably needed the paycheck. 💰 We’re talking Academy…

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER
Breaking, Music News

KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER

Chord F. DiscordOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

OMG! Can you believe it? After like, five whole months of pretending he wasn’t already packing his bags 💞, Kelly…

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Hilariously Try to Houdini Their Client Out of That Pesky UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassination ÐīÐĩÐŧÐū
Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Hilariously Try to Houdini Their Client Out of That Pesky UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassination ÐīÐĩÐŧÐū

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Another day, another deep-state drama! Luigi Mangione, the alleged assassin of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO, is playing the victim card, claiming his…

Bolton’s ‘Stache: Feds Plotting a Weekend Mustache Waxing… I Mean, Indictment
Elephant Reads CNN

Bolton’s ‘Stache: Feds Plotting a Weekend Mustache Waxing… I Mean, Indictment

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Lock him up! Sources say Deep State swamp creature John Bolton is about to face the music. After years of…

Wes Scantlin Honors Rock Gods (R.I.P.) with a ‘Firefly’ Song (Please Hold Your Applause)
Breaking, Music News

Wes Scantlin Honors Rock Gods (R.I.P.) with a ‘Firefly’ Song (Please Hold Your Applause)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Ah, yes, the musical geniuses 🧠 behind PUDDLE OF MUDD, those purveyors of sonic brilliance, have graced us with a…

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Well, well, well, look who it is – Sleepy Joe himself! Turns out, even after his disastrous term, he’s still…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Wild Ride: 3 Countries Give Him the Boot While Courts Play Ping-Pong with His Life
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Wild Ride: 3 Countries Give Him the Boot While Courts Play Ping-Pong with His Life

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another deep-state stall tactic! Three African nations – Uganda, Eswatini, and Ghana – are refusing to take back…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 165 166 167 … 174 Next

Latest posts

  • Arizona Frats Keep Raising Bar On Alleged Misconduct
  • Oregon seafood plant fire because apparently fish wasn’t smelly enough already
  • Sununu Banks On Family Fame In New Hampshire
  • Turnstile Packs Washington Monument with 60,000 Fans for Charity
  • Flying Cars Still Not A Thing Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.