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Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest documentary footage featuring the late Sen. Lindsey Graham, and I…

Grandma’s wild arrest was fake reality TV gold
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Grandma’s wild arrest was fake reality TV gold

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, Donna Dillon and her husband were just chillin’ at home,…

Coyote vs ACME Gets a New Trailer Because We Clearly Haven’t Seen Enough of This Guy Getting Smashed by Giant Slingshots and Anvils
Breaking, Movie News

Coyote vs ACME Gets a New Trailer Because We Clearly Haven’t Seen Enough of This Guy Getting Smashed by Giant Slingshots and Anvils

FinnJuly 25, 2026July 25, 2026

The most epic battle of wits (or lack thereof) is coming to a theater near you: Coyote vs. ACME 🤣!…

Jason Statham’s Mutiny Poster Has Clearly Never Heard of Originality and is Just Copying Die Hard Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs New Ideas Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Statham’s Mutiny Poster Has Clearly Never Heard of Originality and is Just Copying Die Hard Because Let’s Be Real Who Needs New Ideas Anyway

FinnJuly 25, 2026July 25, 2026

The Stath is back, and this time he’s on a boat, because why not? 🚣‍♂️ I mean, who needs a…

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Ian Pfister, a self-proclaimed First Amendment auditor, is making a name…

Batman Knightfall Part 1 is Finally Here to Ruin Your Summer with More Bats and Less Sun
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Knightfall Part 1 is Finally Here to Ruin Your Summer with More Bats and Less Sun

FinnJuly 24, 2026July 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩 I mean, it’s not like we’ve been waiting for…

Warner Bros peddles Batman exclusivity to Amazon Luna
Breaking, Movie News

Warner Bros peddles Batman exclusivity to Amazon Luna

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 23, 2026July 24, 2026

Amazon and Warner Bros. are at it again, because what the world really needed was another Batman game. I mean,…

CAPCOM milks Dragon Quest again with Monsters: The Withered World
Breaking, Games News

CAPCOM milks Dragon Quest again with Monsters: The Withered World

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 23, 2026July 24, 2026

Fans of the Dragon Quest Monsters series, rejoice! CAPCOM has finally decided to bless us with a plethora of details…

Because What Hollywood Really Needs Is More Video Game Adaptations
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Really Needs Is More Video Game Adaptations

FinnJuly 23, 2026July 24, 2026

Just how nostalgic are Olds for Atari? We’re about to find out. Deadline reports that Universal has signed a deal…

NTSB Reports Yet Another Totally Normal Day in Air Traffic Control
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NTSB Reports Yet Another Totally Normal Day in Air Traffic Control

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Two planes, a Delta Air Lines…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump EPA scraps summer gas rules to cut US pump prices
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  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Chris Garten to lead Indiana Senate chamber

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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