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Local With Camera Accidentally Stumbles Upon Something Other Than Sand in Abu Dhabi, World Wonders If It’s a Mirage
Elephant Reads CNN

Local With Camera Accidentally Stumbles Upon Something Other Than Sand in Abu Dhabi, World Wonders If It’s a Mirage

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

More leftist propaganda from Fake News CNN! Now they’re crying about “abducted Ukrainian children” being forced to fight. As if…

Winds of Plague to Drag Their Corpse Out for One Last Cash Grab in 2025, Prepare to Yawn
Events, Music News

Winds of Plague to Drag Their Corpse Out for One Last Cash Grab in 2025, Prepare to Yawn

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 The symphonic deathcore gods, WINDS OF PLAGUE, are crawling out of their crypts! Yes, you heard it right,…

Dragon Quest I & II Remake: Prepare for a Twist So Monumental, It’ll Make Your Grandma Question Her Life Choices
Breaking, Games News

Dragon Quest I & II Remake: Prepare for a Twist So Monumental, It’ll Make Your Grandma Question Her Life Choices

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Wow, another Dragon Quest remake? 🙄 Is Square Enix officially out of original ideas? Hot on the heels of last…

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie
Breaking, Music News

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Tron: Ares, or as I like to call it, “Tron: Yet Another Reboot Nobody Asked For,” is gracing us with…

ICE Raids Hyundai Plant, Finds More Than Just Cars
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Raids Hyundai Plant, Finds More Than Just Cars

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another victory for law and order under President Trump! It seems ICE is finally doing its job and…

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh great, another Street Fighter movie! 🙄 As if the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces (said no one ever), Legendary…

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event
Breaking, Games News

Hollow Knight: Silksong — Is It Real or Just a Mass Hysteria Event

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round for a hot take hotter than my RTX 6090ti running Crysis on ultra. We’re talking about…

Tetsuya Nomura Says FF7 Remake Part 3 and KH4 Are “Making Great Progress,” So Get Hyped (Maybe)
Breaking, Games News

Tetsuya Nomura Says FF7 Remake Part 3 and KH4 Are “Making Great Progress,” So Get Hyped (Maybe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 Apparently, Final Fantasy 7 Remake Part 3 and Kingdom Hearts 4 are still “making progress.”…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams
Breaking, Music News

Sebastian Bach Swears on a Stack of Leather Pants He Won’t Let Robots Steal His Screams

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sebastian Bach, the vocal gymnast from that band your mom liked, SKID ROW (yeah, that one), has some…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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