Oh look, it’s King Donald the Great again, waving his tiny hand and demanding the Strait of Hormuz open faster than a Biden-approved border crossing. In a bold move that only a true patriot could muster, Trump is threatening to bomb Iran’s power plants if they don’t comply. Because nothing says “diplomacy” like a good old-fashioned energy grid demolition, right?
Meanwhile, CNN’s resident left-wing dream team, Jessica Dean, David Sanger, and Kimberly Dozier, are clutching their pearls and asking if this is “realistic.” Of course it’s realistic—it’s Trump we’re talking about! The man who single-handedly defeated ISIS, built a wall (well, half of one), and made liberals cry on national television. But sure, let’s hear from the same “experts” who probably think Iran’s just misunderstood and needs a group hug.
If the Strait of Hormuz doesn’t open on Trump’s schedule, expect fireworks—literally. And if CNN’s analysts don’t like it, they can always move to Tehran and join the regime’s PR team. After all, they’re already halfway there with their constant Trump-bashing. Stay tuned for more MAGA madness, where deadlines are deadlines and Iran’s power plants are just collateral damage in the name of freedom. God bless America—and God bless President Trump!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
