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Breaking News: FAA Pokes Around After Chicago Plane Does Impromptu Lawn Care
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking News: FAA Pokes Around After Chicago Plane Does Impromptu Lawn Care

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Oh, CNN, always finding new ways to undermine our great nation! A private jet “mishap” at Chicago Executive Airport? Don’t…

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Folks, another day, another assault on American values by the liberal media! CNN, still pushing their fake news agenda, tries…

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)
Events

Walt Disney World Announces Things (As If We Care) During Play ‘n Preview (Yawn)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, CGM (whoever they are 🤔) graced Walt Disney World’s Play ‘n Preview event with their presence (third row, no…

PAX West 2025: OCTOPATH TRAVELER 0 Preview — Prepare to be Mildly Whemed
Breaking, Games News

PAX West 2025: OCTOPATH TRAVELER 0 Preview — Prepare to be Mildly Whemed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OCTOPATH TRAVELER 0 at PAX West 2025 was supposed to be my personal hell🔥. I mean, turn-based combat? 🤢 But…

Slow Horses Season 5 Trailer: Because Apparently People Still Watch This
Breaking, Movie News

Slow Horses Season 5 Trailer: Because Apparently People Still Watch This

FinnSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Behold! Apple TV+, desperate for your $9.99/month, just dropped a trailer for season five of Slow Horses, the “critically acclaimed”…

Alter Bridge’s “Silent Divide” Video: Prepare to Be Mildly Diverted from Your Daily Grind
Breaking, Music News

Alter Bridge’s “Silent Divide” Video: Prepare to Be Mildly Diverted from Your Daily Grind

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Oh joy, oh rapture! 🥳 Those purveyors of generic rock anthems, 🎸ALTER BRIDGE🎸, are back with a new album and…

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later Trailer Drops: More Blood, More Ralph, Still No Cure

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the lamest trailer EVER for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple! 🙄 It’s like…

Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, the Metal God, spills the tea on Ozzy’s impending doom
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, the Metal God, spills the tea on Ozzy’s impending doom

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

So, like, Rob Halford, the Metal God (yeah, right 😂), sat down with some dude named Jonathan Clarke on some…

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)
Elephant Reads CNN

Gilgo Beach Suspect’s DNA Gets a High-Tech Makeover (Thanks, Science)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Another win for justice and sound science, folks! This judge isn’t falling for the Deep State’s attempts to muddy the…

Hideo Kojima Says MGSV Was “Unfinished” – No Duh
Breaking, Games News

Hideo Kojima Says MGSV Was “Unfinished” – No Duh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did Kojima JUST admit Metal Gear Solid V was a total dumpster fire 🔥? You won’t BELIEVE this!…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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