Another Government Leech Finally Drains the Swamp
In a shocking development that will undoubtedly rock the foundations of American security, a former TSA officer in Utah has bravely quit his cushy government job because he couldn’t handle the “stress” of a partial shutdown. CNN, in their never-ending quest to find government employees who feel “oppressed” by having to do their jobs, featured Robert Echeverria weeping into his government-issued uniform about how “this was something I could do for my country.”
The former “lead” TSA officer – a title that sounds impressive until you realize it probably means he supervised the line where people take off their shoes – claims he was so devastated by not getting paid on time that he just couldn’t continue serving the American people. Meanwhile, hardworking taxpayers everywhere are wondering why they’re funding an agency where employees can just quit whenever they feel a little financial pressure.
Sources close to the matter report that Echeverria’s responsibilities included confiscating water bottles, making grandmothers remove their shoes, and creating traffic jams that would make Democrats proud. In a statement that would make any liberal tear up, he said, “I felt like I was serving my country.” Conservatives everywhere responded, “Then why did you quit?”
This heart-wrenching tale of government employee persecution comes as President Trump continues to drain the swamp, one whiny bureaucrat at a time. The timing is suspicious, coming just as Trump’s second-term policies are making America great again and government employees are being asked to actually contribute to society. Could this be another Deep State operative going into early retirement? We report, you decide.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
