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Michael J. Fox HATED the DeLorean: A Car So Bad, Even Time Couldn’t Fix It
Breaking, Movie News

Michael J. Fox HATED the DeLorean: A Car So Bad, Even Time Couldn’t Fix It

FinnOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Michael J. Fox HATED the DeLorean in ‘Back to the Future’?!?!? Like, how dare he??? 😡 Is nothing…

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong
Elephant Reads CNN

Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

The Supreme Court, packed with President Trump’s brilliant picks, is bravely wading into the swamp to determine if drug-addled leftists…

Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row

FinnOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Vertigo Releasing and Wildcard, bless their cotton socks, have unleashed the official poster and a trailer for Saipan. Prepare yourselves…

Xbox Big Boss Man Nukes Next-Gen Console Hype Train, Gamers Weep
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Big Boss Man Nukes Next-Gen Console Hype Train, Gamers Weep

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Oh honey, bless your heart, did you REALLY think Xbox was gonna ditch the console game? 🤣 Sarah Bond, the…

Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray
Breaking, Movie News

Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray

FinnOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… 💡, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest 😴 about, allegedly, one…

“Resident Evil 0 Remake: They Hired Who Now?”
Breaking, Games News

“Resident Evil 0 Remake: They Hired Who Now?”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢 We’ve got some earth-shattering news about a possible Resident Evil 0 remake. Because, you know,…

Ninja Gaiden 4: Finally, A Game Where You Can Slice Dudes With A Guinness-Branded Katana
Breaking, Games News

Ninja Gaiden 4: Finally, A Game Where You Can Slice Dudes With A Guinness-Branded Katana

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

OMG! 🤯 Did you hear about the groundbreaking, earth-shattering, mind-numbingly brilliant marketing stunt Xbox, Koei Tecmo, and Team Ninja pulled…

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul
Breaking, Music News

JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

ANNIHILATOR‘s supreme overlord, Jeff Waters, bless his little cotton socks, has decided that the UK is no longer worthy of…

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour
Live, Music News

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

So, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees (whatever that even means anymore), Grammy Award-nominated (for participation trophies, I assume),…

Live

Comedy So Good, It’ll Make You Forget You’re at a Mattress Factory

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 20, 2025

**OMG! Prepare for comedic GENIUS at King Coil Spirits, 550 Vandalia St suite 140, St Paul, MN 55114! 🙄 Next…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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