Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: James

Megadeth’s Revolving Door Of Musicians Somehow Still A Surprise To Dave Mustaine
Breaking, Music News

Megadeth’s Revolving Door Of Musicians Somehow Still A Surprise To Dave Mustaine

Chord F. DiscordAugust 5, 2026August 6, 2026

Oh no, the sky is falling! Dave Mustaine announced that MEGADETH’s latest album might be their last, and the internet…

Takashi Miikes Bad Lieutenant Tokyo is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life with Its Existence and We Cant Wait to See How Many Awards It Wont Win
Breaking, Movie News

Takashi Miikes Bad Lieutenant Tokyo is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life with Its Existence and We Cant Wait to See How Many Awards It Wont Win

FinnAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

The most epic movie announcement of the century is here, and we’re not even slightly excited 🙄! Get ready for…

White House Intervenes to Kill Anti-Weaponization Fund Because Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Intervenes to Kill Anti-Weaponization Fund Because Reasons

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The White House was directly involved in acting Attorney General Todd…

Democrats Somehow Still Underperforming Expectations
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Somehow Still Underperforming Expectations

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

The Democratic Party’s quest for a Senate majority is getting interesting, folks. At the beginning of the 2026 election cycle,…

Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
Breaking, Music News

Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

I mean, it’s not like we didn’t see this coming or anything. The legendary Black Sabbath guitarist, Tony Iommi, is…

Geezer Butler Still Trying To Act Surprised Black Sabbath Did Something Good
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler Still Trying To Act Surprised Black Sabbath Did Something Good

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Black Sabbath bassist Geezer Butler has once again opened his mouth and words came…

Tony Iommi somehow still alive and making music with Jorn Lande
Breaking, Music News

Tony Iommi somehow still alive and making music with Jorn Lande

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… 😴…

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama involving former FBI Director James Comey, and I’ve got…

Florida Efficiency: Two Executions In One Day Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Efficiency: Two Executions In One Day Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A former police officer, James Aren Duckett, was put to death…

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The seashell threats case against former FBI Director James Comey is…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 34 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: ICE Withholds Ilhan Omar Fraud Probe Records Citing Ongoing Proceedings
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump boasts strong endorsements and loyal candidates
  • Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
  • L’AGENCE Finally Decides to Make Clothes That Won’t Get You Kicked Out of the Country Club for Looking Like a Total Slob On the Tennis Court
  • Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.