Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

LEGO Teases “Bricktendo” PlayStation 2026 Release, Fans Wonder If They’ll Need to Step on It to Turn It On
LEGO, The Master Of Turning Nostalgia Into Expensive Plastic Bricks, Apparently Wants To Recreate Your Childhood Trauma With A PlayStation Set
Breaking, Games News

LEGO Teases “Bricktendo” PlayStation 2026 Release, Fans Wonder If They’ll Need to Step on It to Turn It On

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Oh look, LEGO is at it again—because why let people enjoy their actual video game consoles when you can spend…

When Will Your Wallet Finally Get a Break at the Gas Station?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Will Your Wallet Finally Get a Break at the Gas Station?

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Gas Prices Still Sky-High Despite Oil Market Dip – Trump’s Economic Magic Not Working Yet Despite global oil prices dropping…

Democrats Cry as AI and Crypto Bros Buy Primaries Like CryptoPunks on Sale!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Cry as AI and Crypto Bros Buy Primaries Like CryptoPunks on Sale!

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Oh, look, it’s the crypto kings and AI overlords throwing their Monopoly money around like it’s 2016 again! According to…

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!
Breaking, Games News

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Resident Evil Requiem Director Confirms More Content Is Coming, Because Five Million Sales Wasn’t Enough To Make Him Rich Well,…

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?
OMG, LAMB OF GOD is doing a super secret tiny concert in Philly and you're invited to beg for tickets like it's Black Friday at Walmart!
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

So, apparently LAMB OF GOD thinks they’re too cool for stadiums now and are playing at Philadelphia’s TLA (Theatre of…

Here We Go Again: The Epic Showdown Where Trump’s Blessing Battles MTG’s Ghost in the Land of MAGA Madness
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Here We Go Again: The Epic Showdown Where Trump’s Blessing Battles MTG’s Ghost in the Land of MAGA Madness

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

President Trump’s iron grip on the GOP is about to face its toughest test yet—thanks to a circus of candidates…

Alexander Bros Convicted of Sex Trafficking, Leaving Real Estate World Shook, Not Stirred
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alexander Bros Convicted of Sex Trafficking, Leaving Real Estate World Shook, Not Stirred

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

Look at this, folks! Three wealthy, powerful brothers—supposedly the kings of luxury real estate—turned out to be nothing but a…

US Stocks Just Won’t Get the Memo About Panic Mode
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Stocks Just Won’t Get the Memo About Panic Mode

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

World’s Oil Markets Hold Their Breath as Strait of Hormuz Remains Shut Well folks, grab your gas masks and strap…

EVE Frontier Unveils Cycle 5 Of Founder Access: Shroud of Fear — Because Nothing Says “Welcome” Like a Good Scare!
Breaking, Games News

EVE Frontier Unveils Cycle 5 Of Founder Access: Shroud of Fear — Because Nothing Says “Welcome” Like a Good Scare!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

EVE Frontier is back with its fifth Founder Access cycle, Shroud of Fear, and if you thought the last update…

Beer sales are struggling. Anheuser-Busch isn’t panicking, they’re just chilling in their golden throne, sipping on their own tears. 🍺👑
BAHAHAHA: Bud Light's Boycott Backfire – AB InBev Laughing All the Way to the Bank!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beer sales are struggling. Anheuser-Busch isn’t panicking, they’re just chilling in their golden throne, sipping on their own tears. 🍺👑

Big ElephantMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

New York — Struggling beer sales should spell doom for the world’s largest brewer? Anheuser-Busch InBev hasn’t gotten that memo,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 17 18 19 … 128 Next

Latest posts

  • Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
  • Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Nightmares Already Now It’s Bloody Fantastic Get Ready to Wet Your Pants Again
  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
  • G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
  • Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}