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Tag: money

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
Events, Music News

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…

BUCKCHERRY Announces Geriatric Fall 2025 U.S Tour With Some Guy Named MICHAEL MONROE
Events, Movie News

BUCKCHERRY Announces Geriatric Fall 2025 U.S Tour With Some Guy Named MICHAEL MONROE

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for the geriatric rock event of the decade! 👴👵 California’s finest (debatable) rockers, BUCKCHERRY, are crawling…

K.K. Downing’s Back! (And Apparently Metal Depended On It)
Breaking, Music News

K.K. Downing’s Back! (And Apparently Metal Depended On It)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, the DRAMA! 🙄 K.K. Downing, formerly of that band JUDAS PRIEST (you know, the one he dramatically QUIT 🙄),…

Trump Apparently Threatened to Bomb Moscow if Putin Invaded Ukraine, According to Tapes (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Apparently Threatened to Bomb Moscow if Putin Invaded Ukraine, According to Tapes (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, still clutching their pearls, released audio of President Trump at a private fundraiser. Apparently, he told…

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🦖 ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Ate the Box Office (Like a Raptor Eating a Goat)! 🐐 Seriously, who knew people…

Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action
Breaking, Movie News

Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, great. Another cinematic masterpiece in the making. 🙄 Jon M. Chu, the visionary behind such groundbreaking films as… *checks…

Carcass Announces They’re Finally Bothering to Visit North America in 2025 (If We’re Still Alive)
Breaking, Music News

Carcass Announces They’re Finally Bothering to Visit North America in 2025 (If We’re Still Alive)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

British extreme metal pioneers CARCASS, those lovable geezers who’ve been churning out the same old riffs since before your dad…

‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Doc’ Antle Gets a Year-Long Spa Day (In Prison) for Animal Shenanigans, Because Apparently Tigers Don’t Like Being Luggage | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another so-called “star” from that godforsaken “Tiger King” show getting what they deserve. Bhagavan “Doc” Antle, probably a…

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses
Breaking, Music News

Nicki Minaj Roasts Old Men and Horses

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🚨 Nicki Minaj, Queen of Shade and Petty Supremacy, Just Decided to Roast Jay-Z and Megan Thee Stallion Like…

Puscifer, the band no one can spell, Somehow Manages to Book Two LA Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Puscifer, the band no one can spell, Somehow Manages to Book Two LA Gigs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

🤣OMG! You guys will NEVER guess what’s happening! PUSCIFER, aka Maynard’s side-hustle when he’s not busy being cryptic in TOOL…

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Latest posts

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  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
  • G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
  • Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party

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Finn October 8, 2024
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