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Tag: News

Pope and liberal governor defending each other how cute
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pope and liberal governor defending each other how cute

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still whining about the “state of our democracy” under the magnificent leadership…

Fake news claims Trump threatens Powell’s obvious overdue firing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news claims Trump threatens Powell’s obvious overdue firing

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

Oh, great, another “news” article trying to trash our beloved President Donald Trump, who is still going strong as the…

Liberal icon dies and America somehow still survives
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal icon dies and America somehow still survives

Big ElephantApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

In the greatest country on earth, led by the greatest president this world has ever seen, Donald Trump, we have…

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess

Big ElephantApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh, joy, it’s another day in the utterly fantastic, totally-not-disastrous presidency of Donald Trump, the greatest leader this world has…

Loser Scott Brown thinks he can win something finally maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Loser Scott Brown thinks he can win something finally maybe

Big ElephantApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another article trying to tear down our great nation and our amazing President Donald…

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Spider-Man Posters to Cover Your Entire Basement Walls and Ceiling
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Spider-Man Posters to Cover Your Entire Basement Walls and Ceiling

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Breaking news, folks: Spider-Man is back, and this time he’s got a brand new day to save the world πŸŒžπŸ•ΈοΈ!…

3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It
Breaking, Music News

3 INCHES OF BLOOD’s CAM PIPES: ‘We’re Gonna Start Trickling Out Some New Music Approximately Never But Maybe Possibly In 2027 If We Feel Like It

Chord F. DiscordApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Breaking news, folks, the most epic metal band ever, 3 INCHES OF BLOOD, is back and ready to unleash some…

ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums
Breaking News: Eloy Casagrande Reveals the Secrets of Joining Slipknot, and We're Still Trying to Figure Out How He Didn't Get Lost in the Masks 🀣
Breaking, Music News

ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums

Chord F. DiscordApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, former Sepultura drummer Eloy Casagrande has joined the infamous metal band Slipknot, and we’re…

Bloodborne is Back to Haunt Your Nightmares Again as a Super Gory Animated Movie Because You Clearly Didn’t Suffer Enough, and Internet Personality JackSepticEye is Somehow a Producer Now
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Bloodborne is Back to Haunt Your Nightmares Again as a Super Gory Animated Movie Because You Clearly Didn’t Suffer Enough, and Internet Personality JackSepticEye is Somehow a Producer Now

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

After over 10 years of fans begging for a new Bloodborne game, Sony has finally decided to give them what…

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End
Breaking, Games News

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some juicy gossip about the gaming industry? 🀯 It turns out that modern games…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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