FTC Dumps $126M on Fortnite Noobs, Begging for Refund Cries ‘Til July
Oh, sweet tears of joy! 😭 The FTC, bless their bureaucratic hearts, is shoveling out another $126 million in Fortnite…
Tag: rock
Jesse Leach desperately craves another Times of Grace album, bless his heart
In a groundbreaking 🙄 interview with Loaded Radio (because who else would care? 😂), KILLSWITCH ENGAGE singer Jesse Leach (still…
Fantastic Four: First Steps Trailer Finally Arrives, Proving Marvel Still Has Ideas (Maybe)
Okay, so apparently, the geniuses at Marvel thought we needed ANOTHER trailer for The Fantastic Four: First Steps. Yes, because…
SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour
Behold, the geriatric giants of guttural groans, SIX FEET UNDER, are crawling out of their crypts for a U.S. tour…
W.A.S.P.’s Blackie Lawless Claims He’s Not Dead Yet, Ready to “Do What We Do,” Which Involves Leather Pants and Questionable Lyrics
In a shocking turn of events, W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless, the guy who clearly invented metal 🤘, has been gracing…
Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?
HEAVEN SHALL BURN, those guys? Oh, you mean the German band that thinks they’re, like, totally important? 😂 Yeah, they’re…
Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)
Oh, the sweet sounds of desperation! A fundraising campaign has been launched for the one and only Mick Wall, the…
The Offspring FINALLY Acknowledge Brazil With a Music Video (Took ‘Em Long Enough)
California punk rock dinosaurs THE OFFSPRING, who somehow haven’t fossilized yet, are still milking their ancient fanbase. Today, they unleashed…
Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint
In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouse known as El Estepario Siberiano, DREAM THEATER’s resident drum-twirling wizard, Mike Portnoy,…
Papa Roach Vomits New Single ‘Braindead’ Featuring Some Guy From H2O or Whatever
PAPA ROACH, those lovable elder statesmen of nu-metal (👴🏼), are back with a brand new banger called “Braindead”, featuring Toby…