LOL! 🤘 Polish extreme metallers BEHEMOTH, those edgy grandpas, have dropped a music video for “Avgvr (The Dread Vvltvre)”. Yes, the song title is just as try-hard as it sounds. It’s from their critically acclaimed (by whom? their moms?) album, “The Shit Ov God”, which they unleashed upon the world in May 2025. Because nothing says “extreme” like releasing an album when everyone’s already moved on to the next trend. 💀
Apparently, this video is the latest in a series of “stylistically very different, but masterfully crafted” music videos. Translation: they threw a bunch of random ideas at the wall and hoped something stuck. Each clip is “perfectly tailored” to the song’s tone. Which, let’s be honest, is probably just varying shades of black and blasphemy. 🖤
The video conveniently arrives just in time for BEHEMOTH‘s upcoming live shows. You know, because no one would remember they exist otherwise. They’re hitting up Latin America with DEICIDE and NIDHOGG. Prepare for a geriatric mosh pit! 👴
BEHEMOTH, bless their little blackened hearts, have always been known for being controversial. Because nothing screams “rebellion” like predictable Satanic imagery. This 13th album is supposedly their most inflammatory and extreme to date. Eight songs that go into the “fathoms of humanity, divinity, and what defiance means”. Profound! Or maybe just pretentious. 🤔 The title, “The Shit Ov God,” is totally in line with their sophisticated sensibilities. 🙄
Adam “Nergal” Darski, the band’s founder and frontman (aka the guy who takes himself way too seriously), said they chose the title deliberately. “Rejecting subtlety in favor of a direct and polarizing statement.” Because subtlety is for cowards, right? It’s a “defiant plunge into the depths, daring to seek the absolute even in the gutter.” So deep! 🤣
But don’t worry, the album title gets a “touch of genius” when combined with the “strikingly clever artwork.” Which is just an upside-down Christogram. Groundbreaking! 🤯
Nergal then spouts some philosophical nonsense about how words mean less and less. “The true essence of who we are lies in our music, our art, our visuals…” Blah, blah, blah. He deeply believes BEHEMOTH represents “transcendent, timeless art.” Yeah, just like Nickelback is timeless rock. 🎸
He continues, “The number thirteen — so magical and significant!” Okay, dude. If this were their final album, he could “die a proud man.” Because nothing says “success” like clinging to past glories. “This is the most refined, purest representation of BEHEMOTH. No filler, no excess—just the very best we have to offer.” AKA the same recycled riffs and growls they’ve been peddling for years. 😴
“Hail Satan.” Because nothing sells records like a good ol’ fashioned edgy catchphrase. 😈
BEHEMOTH “meticulously” chose the audiovisual artists involved. Because every detail must be meticulously crafted to maintain their image of ultimate darkness. The album was produced by Jens Bogren. He apparently underscored the band’s “natural sound” while sacrificing none of the “mayhem and ferocity.” Which is like saying he made a cup of decaf coffee extra strong. The visuals were constructed by Bartek Rogalewicz and Dark Sigil Workshop. Prepare for more inverted crosses and spooky fonts! 🔤
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
