Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Rockstar

Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer: Florida Simulator 2077 looks like my retirement plan, except with more explosions and less shuffleboard ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ’ฅ
Breaking

Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer: Florida Simulator 2077 looks like my retirement plan, except with more explosions and less shuffleboard ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ’ฅ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

OMG! Rockstar DELAYS GTA VI AGAIN! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Is this the end of gaming as we know it?! Okay, okay, calm…

๐ŸŽฎ GTA 6 postponed for the DUMBEST reason: not enough whip-crackers!ย  The laziest juniors just sabotaged Release of the Year
๐Ÿšจ Grand Theft Auto 6 DELAYED till 2026! Fans and investors FREAK OUT โ€” Has Rockstar LOST it?
Games News

๐ŸŽฎ GTA 6 postponed for the DUMBEST reason: not enough whip-crackers!ย  The laziest juniors just sabotaged Release of the Year

Chord F. DiscordMay 2, 2025May 2, 2025

Alright, invisible keyboard warriors and armchair generals, put down your Mountain Dew and Cheetos โ€” itโ€™s time to talk about…

Chris Jericho thinks rock concerts need more life-sized egos on stage? ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽค
Breaking

Chris Jericho thinks rock concerts need more life-sized egos on stage? ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽธ๐ŸŽค

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

Breaking News! Chris Jericho, the Esteemed Thespian of Metal (and Wrestling), Drops Some Knowledge Bombs (and Maybe a Body Slam)…

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™?
Breaking

So, Head from Korn wants the youths to ditch the mosh pit for a one-on-one with JC himself ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™?

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh sweet baby Jesus, another washed-up rockstar finds religion! ๐Ÿ™„ Brian “Head” Welch, formerly of the oh-so-edgy KORN, sat down…

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency ๐Ÿ™„ ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿ™
Breaking

Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency ๐Ÿ™„ ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿ™

Chord F. DiscordApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

So, apparently, Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard, is STILL whining about getting roughed up outside a Florida…

๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ The Secret History of ยซHalf Life 3ยป: Microwaves, GTA VI, and Gabeโ€™s Struggle With Counting to Three
Exclusive: ยซHalf Life 3ยป Was Released, But Gabe Newell Didnโ€™t Tell Anyone โ€” Hereโ€™s Why ๐Ÿซ 
Games News

๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ The Secret History of ยซHalf Life 3ยป: Microwaves, GTA VI, and Gabeโ€™s Struggle With Counting to Three

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2025January 6, 2025

Our undercover investigation into Valveโ€™s most elusive project, ยซHalf Life 3ยป, has finally borne fruit, and the results are nothing…

Exclusive: Leaked Secrets of Rockstarโ€™s Wildest GTA VI Player Reactions! ๐Ÿคฏ
๐Ÿšจ GTA VI Prepares for Chaos: Hereโ€™s What ยซNon-Standard Player Behaviorยป Really Means! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
Games News

Exclusive: Leaked Secrets of Rockstarโ€™s Wildest GTA VI Player Reactions! ๐Ÿคฏ

FinnNovember 7, 2024November 7, 2024

In a shocking twist that has gamers chuckling and developers reaching for their antacids, former Rockstar designer Ben Hinchliffe has…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 12 13

Latest posts

  • Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism
  • Nevada Governor Declares Emergency Because Hawk Fire Refuses to Chill
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright ยฉ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.