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Tag: sale

THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Wastes No Time Booking Yet Another Tour For 2026, Dragging THE ACACIA STRAIN Along For The Ride
Breaking, Live, Music News

THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Wastes No Time Booking Yet Another Tour For 2026, Dragging THE ACACIA STRAIN Along For The Ride

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Black Dahlia Murder Is Literally Coming To Your Town To End Your Ears (And Maybe Your…

BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🎸 BUSH IS BACK, BABY! AND THEY’RE BRINGING THEIR “I BEAT LONELINESS” THERAPY SESSION TO A STADIUM NEAR YOU! 🎸…

Live

Wine Crawl Detroit: Pre-Sale Wait List for Those Who Missed the Party

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

Wine Crawl is swooping into Detroit like a tipsy superhero, promising to save Michiganders from the horror of… regular water!…

Trump’s MAGA Minions Salute His Venezuela Smackdown Like It’s a WWE Pay-Per-View
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s MAGA Minions Salute His Venezuela Smackdown Like It’s a WWE Pay-Per-View

Big ElephantJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Trump’s Venezuela Takedown Sends Leftists into Meltdown — Who Knew ‘America First’ Could Be So Fun? In a move that…

Get on The List – Wine Crawl Detroit – Pre Sale Wait List
Live

Get on The List – Wine Crawl Detroit – Pre Sale Wait List

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 31, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Wine Crawl invades Detroit like a tipsy locust swarm! 🍷🐛 Guests will “experience” overpriced cheese and the existential…

Denver NYE 2025: Open Bar, Free Snacks, and Zero Regrets (Probably)
Live

Denver NYE 2025: Open Bar, Free Snacks, and Zero Regrets (Probably)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 31, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION ADULTS WHO STILL THINK FIREWORKS ARE COOL 🚨 The Sheraton Denver Downtown Hotel is hosting a *very fancy*…

‘The Odyssey’ Trailer Drops First Glimpse of Nolan’s Latest Mind-Bending Epic That Will Make You Question Reality
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Odyssey’ Trailer Drops First Glimpse of Nolan’s Latest Mind-Bending Epic That Will Make You Question Reality

FinnDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Christopher Nolan Announces He’s Finally Making a Movie About a Man Who Just Wants to Get Home, But…

Most Anticipated Crunchyroll Anime Series Coming In January 2026—Because Apparently We All Have Nothing Better To Do
Breaking, Movie News

Most Anticipated Crunchyroll Anime Series Coming In January 2026—Because Apparently We All Have Nothing Better To Do

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

Crunchyroll’s 2026 Lineup: Where the Budget Cuts Are Real, But the Anime Dreams Are Bigger Than Ever! 🍜💸 So, gather…

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
Breaking, Music News

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…

STEEL PANTIER Has Put On Their Pants And Will Be Touring Europe In 2026
Live, Music News

STEEL PANTIER Has Put On Their Pants And Will Be Touring Europe In 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

Attention, mortals! The glitter apocalypse is coming — and it’s wearing a leather jacket two sizes too small. STEEL PANTHER,…

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  • Canada Strikes Back With Costly Kraft Dinner
  • California Bails on Paramount Meeting Amid WBD Takeover Drama
  • Sports teams for sale to billionaires only apparently
  • US Army Helicopters Falling From Sky At Record Pace Somehow Still On Budget
  • US Scores Big Win Against Boat Possibly Carrying Drugs

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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