Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…
Tag: Sales
Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…
“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel
Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is desperately trying to link President…
Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…
Retail Sales Unexpectedly Explode: Prepare for the Apocalypse
The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay the roaring Trump economy again! They can’t stand that our GREAT…
GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…
DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST
DEMON HUNTER, those paragons of… something, are bravely embarking on a U.S. tour this late summer/early fall. Prepare yourselves (or…
Diageo’s CEO Quits After Two Years: Guess the Guinness Was Too Much
Diageo CEO Debra Crew steps down, likely because she couldn’t handle the winning! Maybe she should have focused less on…
CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)
In a groundbreaking interview with Elwood from the prestigious 95 WIIL Rock radio station, BEARTOOTH’s very own Caleb Shomo, in…
🎤 HED PE in Gastonia: From Renegade to Retirement 🦴
📅 July 14, Gastonia, North Carolina — once cult (in the “I think I heard of them” sense), Hed PE…